You know those people whose faces you just want to punch for no apparent reason at all, except maybe they are just too nice.
I remember picking a fight with a guy twice my size (not so long ago as I like it to be, I’m afraid) because he was just too much to handle. He wouldn’t get annoyed no matter what, and even if I’m being irrational on a topic he would just nod his head and apologize when CLEARLY I’m the one at fault. Even after hurling abuses one after the other for a minor issue, all he could come up with was a guilty expression. And that’s not all, he had THE NERVE to apologize.
Now I know you’ll be thinking what a horrible person I must be, and what a sweet kind guy he would have been. But don’t you know anyone who is just too sweet for their own good?
I had a friend who was nicknamed ‘doormat’ for obvious reasons. I love her to pieces but she doesn’t have a single dominant bone in her body. E.L James could make another series of her if she wanted to. So I did what I thought was right. I stood up for her, told her to take things into her own hands, and if she couldn’t, which was always, I would step in and sort it out. Under my supervision, no-one could take advantage of her, and it was how it was supposed to be. Or so I thought.
I became a mother overnight caring for my helpless child. I thought of myself as noble for doing the right thing, but I also realized I was spending Friday nights alone, and all my friends were suddenly busy for me. After an open conversation with a close friend, I realized that no-one was too pleased with me dragging along ‘doormat’ wherever I went and snapping at every little joke made at her expense. She also told me that she missed me joking around, I was notorious for making little harmless jokes on everyone and myself in a conversation which never went too far. In her words, I was ‘becoming a mom’. And for every teenager that’s like a slap on the face along with a kick in the butt while twisting your arm.
I realized that I wasn’t noble or anything. I wasn’t doing a great thing by standing up for a girl who didn’t mind being a pushover. It was a life she liked, and just because I wasn’t too happy with it, I couldn’t just butt in and bring order to the universe.
I learnt a valuable lesson, that we can’t help anyone who doesn’t realize they need it. People say that you must learn to help others, but they never tell you that you can’t decide whether they need it or not.
Now I have moved on, she’s still a friend. She’s still a pushover but now I hear she isn’t so pleased about it anymore. I won’t force her to become anyone she doesn’t want to be because I know now it’s as bad as those taking advantage of her. But later down the lane, if she decides she needs help, I’ll be there for her.