In your head or above it?


Pretty accurate in my opinion

My family believes lives as per as horoscope predictions. When you throw tantrums at home for no real reason and your parents instead of giving you one flat handprint across your butt-cheeks like normal Indian parents says ‘It’s okay, it’s just an awful time for you as per as the horoscope so we know you don’t mean it’, it doesn’t creep you out at ALL. Right?
I’m not a huge fan of predictions, especially mine. For example, If I catch a guy staring at me , there are many conclusions one can deduce from this suspicious activity:
a) Clearly I resemble his dead mom
b) I have ketchup all over my face
c) Maybe frequent trips to the washroom because of diarrhoea has made me look attractive.(It counts as exercise)
My brain usually thinks it’s option c, because it seems the most obvious,obviously. Nope, once in McDonald’s someone sitting on a table across mine actually pointed to my face and gestured that I have something icky all over it. I wanted to gesture back ‘No,no those are MY EYES. Don’t worry. They are just scary because they are too big for my face.’ 
Luckily, or not it wasn’t my eyes he was concerned about. I feel like I have to explain this. Those frail pathetic bags that they give and ask us to shake our fries after mixing them with ‘piri-piri’ are just EVIL. Apparently if you shake too much, like they have indicated you know up and down, side to side, do the boogie-woogie No, wait that’s another song it WILL explode. All over your face. And sometimes all over the face of your friend sitting opposite to you.
What I mean to say is I can’t even correctly deduce actions in the present, let alone try to predict the future. This doesn’t stop me from reading the astrology portion for Scorpio every week, It’s become a habit. When they tell me ‘things are looking up’ I believe in them. When they say ‘don’t shilly-shally’ I ignore them and still choose to binge on Game Of Thrones instead of completing my work. After all the eyeball gorging, throat slitting and women getting raped I sometimes wish I had done otherwise. It’s like selective-hearing erm..reading? I believe and will do in whatever I want to. Because more often that not whenever I’m convinced that I’ll have a great day today I do and whenever I dread the day and think of how horrible it’s going to be, it inevitably turns out that way. Those are not my super powers but it’s just I feel that in my case my head has a better say in my life than the stars above it.

Do you believe that you can know all about your destiny from stars in the sky? Let me know what you think.


15 thoughts on “In your head or above it?

  1. This was so funny. Kind of reminded me of this one time I went into a drug store and got some looks and then realized that one of the lenses from my sunglasses had fallen out. (Yes, I went into the drug store wearing them.)

    I actually do believe that people often have personalities that follow their astrological signs but have yet to see a horoscope that accurately predicted my future.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hahah! Onlookers must have thought you were some kind of a classy pirate šŸ˜‰ Eyepatches are old news now, sunglasses with one lens is what’s in!
      I’m a classic scorpion actually. I’m stubborn, passionate and really hot-headed. None of the nicer adjectives applied to me though.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, funny, my mom’s a scorpion and she is none of those things. I’ll have to look up the ‘description’ and see which apply to her. I’m a virgo so, despite my hopes to be a wild girl, I’m rather anal and reserved.
        Yes, on to the one lensed sunglasses…think we can make that a thing??

        Liked by 1 person

      • I can picture Johnny Depp in my head with those sunglasses. It could be the next big thing!
        Your mom may have all the good adjectives that I said don’t apply to me. šŸ˜‰


  2. Although I am much like the Cancer described by the Zodiac, I don’t believe in that stuff. I look at it for entertainment value. But I should mention that we are both water signs, so that means we are like great friend potential lol.
    This post was so funny! šŸ˜œ

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Pingback: Calling Me | Delirious Antidotes

  4. I used to read my horoscope daily, too. Then, I realized that karma is bigger than horoscopes and that God is bigger than karma. So, yeah. No horoscope reading, now.
    And, hey. You’re a Scorpio. šŸ˜€ I’m not saying anything.

    Liked by 1 person

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