Love, marriage and insanity

This question has been plaguing mankind for years now. Does love come before career marriage?

My mother got married when she was 20, my sister-21. Currently I’m 20 years old and luckily for me my horoscope, which is my mother’s version of the Bible feels that I have another few years before I NEED to get hitched. Doesn’t that sound romantic?

image

Aww, isn't that sweet?

Almost everyone in my family has had arranged marriages and how they find it perfectly sane to trust to spend the rest of their life with a complete stranger just because their parents told them to do so is a mystery to me. I love my parents to bits but I’m not going to marry someone they ask me so as to not hurt their feelings and invite shame to the family(A HUGE issue in India). Luckily, I don’t think my parents are old-fashioned in that aspect but anyways I have prepared a list of reasons to convince them why I totally wouldn’t shine on the whole arranged marriage circuit if they ever change their mind-

image

*applauds*

1. One can never ever fall in love with me at first glance or during the first conversation. I’m the person that has to grow on you. Time period to like me may range from a few months to never.

2. I’m a completely different species during my periods, which is why short acquaintances will lead to false conclusions and it will lead to messy debates in the court when we file for divorce.

3. I can’t cook to save my life. Unless you count spreading nutella on bread as cooking.I’m also terrified of getting burnt due to a childhood incident and will not stand within a radius of 15 metres from the stove.

4. I can’t do the whole smiling radiantly and serving tea thing clad in a saree  which is what is expected of us when the guy visits us for the first time. I’ll look like Heath in Batman if I smile too much and I don’t carry trays which contains hot liquids. Unless you want cold coffee, this act won’t work.

5. You won’t get a single penny as dowry. My parents love traditions but are not animals to give you money to accept their daughter. They may be immensely pleased that you were gullible enough to marry me though.

image

Pretty much sums it up

6. How will you know that you aren’t supposed to talk to me for the first 15 minutes after I wake up? Which is when I have “me time” which despite sounding spiritual, is the time I take to wipe off the drool and fall asleep with my eyes open while staring into blank space.

7. I feel passionately about adopting and if you are one of those ‘Blood is thicker than water’ kinds, I would just feel really guilty of having to fake your medical reports that will state you are sterile.

8. The only toys I like are Iron Man ones and I just like to make ‘psschaavu’ noises while pointing his hand at inanimate objects. What if you keep different kinds of toys, that I don’t really want to get into right now. Technically I don’t want the toys in me but moving on..

image

Mr Grey must be so proud

9. After 20 years you may tell me that it’s your father who created your profile on the matrimony site, the profile that convinced me to marry you. Does that mean I should have ended up with your father instead?

This is why the prospect of me featuring in one of memes captioned “forever alone” is quite likely in the future. I would love to hear what your take is on arranged marriages. 😀

Advertisements

75 thoughts on “Love, marriage and insanity

    • I also have the mental maturity of a three year old! 😉 I can’t even live with myself somedays, let alone live with another human being. I’m open to the idea of marriage, way waaay into the future, but to a stranger is the part that I have trouble accepting.

      Like

      • Well, I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing but men are way more stunted than women when it comes to maturity.

        I hear you. One of the reasons I married my husband is because he was one of the few men I really felt comfortable around.

        Liked by 2 people

  1. Well. I guess it works if no one likes you and you’re a douche. But, I wouldn’t want it. Although if I had to I would accept it. If I get treated bad though, I’m out. I have zero tolerance towards violence on my person.

    Liked by 1 person

    • So you are saying..that this might be the ONLY way people like me can get married? 😮 😛 On a serious note, I agree! I can’t even deal with the nonsense I put myself through so I’m sure I won’t last if he turns out to be anything less than whatever is mentioned in the matrimony site. Even if he mentions that he’s 6’2 and turns out to be 6’0 I’m out!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I never meant you! 😛 Weird people just need weird people to connect! That’s all. 😀
        And if someone else fills in their profile and tricks them into going, you cant really be angry at them. 😛 But I did see that video about an Indian woman Tinder… That must have sucked for her.
        The lies people tell on those things, unbelievable!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a very funny and super interesting post. I don’t know much about arranged marriage and my ignorance assumed they weren’t around much anymore.
    What are the cultural reasons behind it? I understand why arranged marriages happened centuries ago: money, social standing, and essentially a safety net. Why now?
    On the complete other end, at least it takes the pressure off having to date!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s pretty much the same reasons even now! They select people who are from the same religion, caste and also their horoscopes have to ‘match’ which in their opinion is the ultimate fool-proof plan. Also, here we stay with our parents till we get married and are basically dependent on them financially and otherwise. Even if the guy is 30, employed and unmarried he’s likely to be staying with his parents. So it’s the classic ‘mother hen knows what’s best for her chicks’ scenario. Luckily these days, parents have started giving in to many changes.
      Hahah, now it’s my turn to humbly accept my lack of expertise in that area. This may seem odd but most of us aren’t allowed to date! Not that it would have stopped me or anything, I haven’t really met anyone worth risking my family’s wrath for..yet! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • Wow! I’m sure this cultural practice is quite annoying to you, but it’s fascinating for me to learn about. What would your family do if you went against the grain and married for love someday?

        Liked by 1 person

      • That’s basically the plot line of most bollywood movies 😉 In my case, my parents won’t mind much as long as he is a Hindu too. If he isn’t, they will dramatically ask me to choose between him or them. I have a friend who still hasn’t seen her grandparents who were against her parents getting married despite sharing the same caste and religion. In other countries people are celebrating as justice prevailed and now lets them marry their partners of the same-sex and here we just want the freedom to choose them ourselves.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha, I loved this post! It’s so true and funny. There’s the idea of a typical Indian girl and how she should be and people go by that stereotype, but everyone is different, not everyone fits that criteria, but that doesn’t mean that they’re any less perfect 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 1. I like you. More importantly…will they like your blogging? That can’t go.

    2. It can be debated all women are “different species” during the menses.

    3. Tell your parents, he must be a chef.

    4. Well, you can “attempt” said activity that they must sign disclaimer if spilled, and are burned with scalding tea/coffee. they might “opt” out of having you do that, for everyone’s safety.

    5. You can’t place a price on “immense pleasure.”

    6. That’s what SIGNS are for- you must have poster board and big “marks-a-lot” permanent markers- in various colors…particularly RED (bold and underlined) as to specific times.

    7. Can you “hire” a stand-in for the whole pregnancy/birthing thing? In today’s modern world, that can happen, right?

    8. Iron Man is AWESOME. The guy will probably think he has SCORED with you… and (pssst…) don’t knock the “inside-me” toys. I’ve heard a couple of them could be mildly interesting?

    9. After 20 years, you’ll probably find out other secrets more disturbing than that. Just sayin’ – not to be “Debbie downer” or anything. I’ve been married 12 years now. 🙂

    Being from the USA, people need to select their own life-partner is my view.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hahah! He will probably find my blog less than amusing as I continue to rant about his mother on a regular basis. To admit that I can’t serve tea would be humiliating to my family. My sister could do it, so did my mom, her mom, my great grandmom- it would be like wrecking an age old tradition despite it having no real significance whatsoever. Unless I sign a secret deal with him stating the above conditions in return permitting him to bring home toys that aren’t as cool as Iron Man. 😉 I agree with your view too!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Exactly! Unfortunately so do love marriages, so I can’t argue with that angle! But I agree, I am extremely picky when it comes to selecting roommates even so naturally I did like to know who would be sharing the rest of my life with me beforehand.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow! I didn’t think arranged marriages happened anymore. I can’t comprehend spending my life with someone that was chosen for me. You are an adult and should be able to marry whomever you please. I moved away from home at 19 and never looked back. I’ve been married for twenty years to a man I met at work. You have a good head on your shoulders kiddo!

    Liked by 2 people

    • That’s amazing! Love stories like yours are like fairytales to us. 🙂 I’m an adult who is entirely dependent on my family financially and for many other things. Not only me, but majority of us here. That’s why choosing an ideal husband/wife is considered as a parent’s job, one that they take great pride in too. My parents were the ones who picked my brother in law, which is why I’m hoping they’ll be bored of the whole routine by now. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Who ever gets the pleasure of marrying you will be the luckiest man ever!!! Strange but true: arranged marriages and love marriages have the same success rate. I think I should put a dating profile while I state my expertise at radiant smiling while serving tea (but I am very sloppy with wearing a saree… So complicated to put on! I learned from YouTube lol). Other than that, I’m good at complaining and eating. Yep, the men are lining up for me!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hahhaa, thaank you! :* The statistics have never been in my favour, so I’m not surprised! I still don’t know how to wear one, I tried to learn then realised how much easier it is to just wear jeans or shorts and bailed on it. I almost forgot about complaining and eating, YES! Along with borderline obsession with Iron man, that’s like three genuine talents that can be written in my matrimony profile. 😀 I’m going to be irresistible 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Nice post. Indian marriages are such. I have never understood them and you bring about quite a few nice pointers. And the funny picture highlighting the love and arranged marriage and the well, I chose to believe that the former will the the gateway to a new (beautiful) world and the latter will just be a well.

    Well, thank the horoscope there is still time to get to know you better, I could wait.

    1. You are absolutely right.
    2. I’ll make sure to keep myself away or my mouth shut.
    3. No probs, I will learn to cook, eventually.
    4. I don’t think it will come to that.
    5. Never had that in mind, ever.
    6. Now, I know.
    7. Ouch, but that is fine by me as well.
    8. Iron Man is love.
    9. umm…

    PS : I was trying to be funny. Guess, I didn’t do such a good job after all. My apologies.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. lol. funny read.

    On a serious note, I think 20 is too young to be even thinking of marriage. You should plan a couple of trips, have a couple of beers and enjoy your life for now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! 😀
      I agree completely! That’s why I’m equipped with completely honest reasons why marriage at this point might be a really really bad idea for me right now if at all my parents begin insisting. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  9. In the movie 2 States they say, “Hamare yahn hindustan mein na..do char steps aur honi chahia thi
    Ladki ke family ko ladke se pyaar honi chahia…Aur Ladke ke family ko ladke se” (translation – Here is India, there are two more additional steps: The girls family should like the guys family and vice versa). This is arguably one of the most important criteria in Love marriage in subcontinent. As far as you situation goes, protest till you find your right person.
    I am lucky my parents have asked me to find your own girl, hope they stick to it when the time comes.
    And Iron-man making “pickkauu” sound. I protest. “Jarvis” defies this logic. He can do more. 😉
    Loved your post.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. How someone could get married at 21 is beyond me. My friend’s sister got married at the same age. Like, seriously?! Live your freaking life, people! Arranged, or whatever. Couldn’t care less. Other than that, enjoyed reading your post! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! 😀 I know right? I haven’t even grasped what each button does in my cousin’s PlayStation and I have been playing that for quite sometime now. I haven’t even made the blueprint of my plans to dominate the world!! So much to do in such little time!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Haha, yes! Number one priority should be world domination. Now, that looks like something to look forward to… (rather than marriage). 😛

        Liked by 1 person

  11. You are seriously very funny! It’s a hard thing to balance culture and tradition with the oldies, yet wanting to be a strong and independent woman in the 21st Century. Keep us posted! Whatever happens, you can always blog about and make us all laugh. Love your writing!!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. A. You DO look cutesy. Only an Ass won’t like you in first sight.
    B. About faking medical report. BWAHAHAHAH.
    C. I hate Iron Man. 😦 Yap yapping and all. But the Toy wins my heart! ❤ 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aww, thank you! 😀 Well, I have to put that medical degree which I’ll get in a couple of years to good use right? Wait, I’m sorry! You HATE IRON MAN? Is that even possible? I don’t even..I can’t..
      I don’t usually pose in the ‘kiddie section’ with a bunch of stuff toys, but that one changed my mind! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      • Medical degree! AWESOME. Any specialization? I am a self-proclaimed doctor 😛 I really do not like the too much talking iron man… 😦 Are you into minions?

        Liked by 1 person

      • It is NOT awesome. Believe me. I’m in my second year, haven’t got my degree yet and I’m already getting a little sick of sick people. I wouldn’t lie, it’s got it’s moments though. Especially when you look at the joy on someone’s face when they are finally able to answer their nature’s call without pain because of the enema one of your seniors had to administer while you looked on. That’s what’s roped me into this.
        I love minions 😀 If we all spoke like them and didn’t understand each other, things would have been so much more fun! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • I watch a lot of grey’s and have spent months in doctors’ care so I get it..your side of the story. Awesome as in…commendable that you are studying medicine. It is tough job. Tougher – it gets tougher with time. Good that you love it 🙂 You are going to save many lives.

        Minions speak a lot of spanish. PARA TUUUU 😀 HEHEHE

        Liked by 1 person

      • You have to meet me, instead of all this you would say ‘You expect people to trust YOU WITH THEIR LIVES?! You?’ I don’t even entirely like our species. Minions, yes I would maybe go out of my way to try to save them. 😀 Who wouldn’t?

        Liked by 1 person

    • I hope to marry for love too! If that doesn’t bode well with my family and I’m married off, I atleast hope I’ll fall in love with my husband at some point. Preferably before I fall for his cousin or brother…

      Liked by 1 person

      • hope we’ll remain friends till then… and after too 🙂 he’s gotta be a special one, else the poor chap will have his brains chewed everyday :p
        Ok…so do I get an invite? I know its kind of self inviting…after all what are friends for?

        Liked by 1 person

      • All I can safely say is that he’ll have an amazing profile in the matrimony site. The rest of the details, like personality and previous criminal record I’ll have to discover along the way. 😛
        As a friend, you’ll have to arrange the funds secretly so that I can be in Europe or someplace the day I’m supposed to be married to a stranger. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s