Love, marriage and insanity

This question has been plaguing mankind for years now. Does love come before career marriage?

My mother got married when she was 20, my sister-21. Currently I’m 20 years old and luckily for me my horoscope, which is my mother’s version of the Bible feels that I have another few years before I NEED to get hitched. Doesn’t that sound romantic?

Aww, isn't that sweet?

Almost everyone in my family has had arranged marriages and how they find it perfectly sane to trust to spend the rest of their life with a complete stranger just because their parents told them to do so is a mystery to me. I love my parents to bits but I’m not going to marry someone they ask me so as to not hurt their feelings and invite shame to the family(A HUGE issue in India). Luckily, I don’t think my parents are old-fashioned in that aspect but anyways I have prepared a list of reasons to convince them why I totally wouldn’t shine on the whole arranged marriage circuit if they ever change their mind-

*applauds*

1. One can never ever fall in love with me at first glance or during the first conversation. I’m the person that has to grow on you. Time period to like me may range from a few months to never.

2. I’m a completely different species during my periods, which is why short acquaintances will lead to false conclusions and it will lead to messy debates in the court when we file for divorce.

3. I can’t cook to save my life. Unless you count spreading nutella on bread as cooking.I’m also terrified of getting burnt due to a childhood incident and will not stand within a radius of 15 metres from the stove.

4. I can’t do the whole smiling radiantly and serving tea thing clad in a saree  which is what is expected of us when the guy visits us for the first time. I’ll look like Heath in Batman if I smile too much and I don’t carry trays which contains hot liquids. Unless you want cold coffee, this act won’t work.

5. You won’t get a single penny as dowry. My parents love traditions but are not animals to give you money to accept their daughter. They may be immensely pleased that you were gullible enough to marry me though.

Pretty much sums it up

6. How will you know that you aren’t supposed to talk to me for the first 15 minutes after I wake up? Which is when I have “me time” which despite sounding spiritual, is the time I take to wipe off the drool and fall asleep with my eyes open while staring into blank space.

7. I feel passionately about adopting and if you are one of those ‘Blood is thicker than water’ kinds, I would just feel really guilty of having to fake your medical reports that will state you are sterile.

8. The only toys I like are Iron Man ones and I just like to make ‘psschaavu’ noises while pointing his hand at inanimate objects. What if you keep different kinds of toys, that I don’t really want to get into right now. Technically I don’t want the toys in me but moving on..

Mr Grey must be so proud

9. After 20 years you may tell me that it’s your father who created your profile on the matrimony site, the profile that convinced me to marry you. Does that mean I should have ended up with your father instead?

This is why the prospect of me featuring in one of memes captioned “forever alone” is quite likely in the future. I would love to hear what your take is on arranged marriages. 😀