The week is almost over and the miracle here is that I’m still standing on my feet. Swaying a little bit, but hey, it’s a Friday and who isn’t swaying?! It’s the second Friday of the month and tomorrow at 8 a.m, the only place that I need to hurry and make it on time is to the washroom-tooooo much of chinese food tonight, I’m afraid.
The feeling of being unwanted is utterly blissful. Even my mother feels the same way. At first after both her daughters left within the span of a few months, she had the need to be needed. Now, she just sits back and enjoys the show when my younger cousins interrupt my aunt’s bath to complain about the other sibling.
Sure, it feels great to be indispensable to someone but I also love to embrace the warmth of freedom on these rare days. When’s there’s no broken hearts to nurse, broken jaws to heal, jaws to break for a friend, I can easily be a little selfish without harbouring any guilt.
Also I like being dependent on myself alone. On those days, when you are strong enough to pick up your bits and walk with your head held high without consulting help are not only a great boost to the ego but also truly empowering. I’m not implying that we don’t need anyone in the world! Pfft, I still have my dad on speed dial to call him for issues ranging from a paper cut to his number being the emergency contact if I’m sprawled across somewhere unconscious.
What I mean is I just love the little moments when you have you, and only you. Lately I feel like all little pieces of myself are caught up with troubleshooting that I have missed being whole. Despite being secretly comforted by the thought that you actually have many dependent on you and on whom you depend on, It feels nice to be in an illusion of not needing anyone and also to not be needed for atleast a few hours. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
On an unrelated matter entirely, it’s been 27 WHOLE YEARS since two very reluctant strangers met each other on their wedding day and were among the lucky few to have been hit by the notorious Cupid within their first year of marriage. Happy anniversary Mom and Dad 😀 Despite assuming that I don’t need you for every moment I know you both are always, always around! 🙂