Is there a statute of limitations on apologies?
is what Harry asks Sally during a scene that I no longer remember. I was watching the movie when this dialogue struck me. Is there?
It’s not easy to upset me, but on the occasion that you do manage to, you’ll realise that’s it’s even harder to get back into my good graces. I have blogged about this earlier and I’ll repeat what I
said wrote- Forgiving someone is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. Obviously I haven’t tried giving birth yet. Maybe that’s why God invented heaven for all those souls out there that are capable of doing so. Sure I can forgive someone easily if I don’t have to fully mean it, but down the lane there’s a possible chance that I’ll bring this up. I’m such a bright beacon of joy to be with during arguments.
I also don’t have the energy to argue continuously to get my point across so I do what most of you may take as a blessing in disguise rather than a sort of punishment-the silent treatment. Unfortunately I’m renowned for carrying it toooooo far.
One of my close friends had a slight misunderstanding that I tried to clear but to no avail. So I snapped and I haven’t been speaking to her ever since.That was 5 years ago. She recently texted me emphasising on how silly the whole ordeal was and it was really great to catch up on everything we had missed so far. I don’t need to hear an apology from her because it doesn’t matter now. I mean I personally think there’s a statute of limitations on apologies that you owe to a person after a couple of years. Unless you really screwed up, like the following instance.
I also knew this one guy (I sure know how to pick my friends) that tried to make a move on me when I was half asleep. A dick move, no doubt. He didn’t apologize for the longest time because I think he believed that I was sending out signals- I think he counted drooling as ‘being wet for him’ or something. Anyways after a couple of years of my infamous silent treatment, he called and apologised profusely citing mental breakdown caused by his then-girlfriend (yes, he was in a relationship then) as a reason. He’s an amazing friend, bar THAT episode, and frankly I missed him. Did I forgive him? Not entirely, but yes. Will I bring this up if we ever have a fight? Absolutely.
Everytime I forgive a person, I feel that a little chip of trust falls away and is replaced by a feeling of an impending sense of doom. I’m scared that I’m making myself gullible to the hurt he/she is bound to create that I now know that they are capable of. It’s not that I find forgiving hard because of superior arrogance, it’s just because I’m just a classic example of a good old scared-y cat. Are you filled with peace after you forgive someone? Or with uncertainty?