Nothing eventful is currently taking place in my otherwise very happening *coughs violently* life. I haven’t got lost-atleast not geographically, mentally I still haven’t found my way, I haven’t drooled over any stranger while travelling(I can’t find the post in which I have mentioned my travelling woes, so bless your luck, you are spared..for now)- I wish I did though because for the past few weeks I haven’t been able to sleep. It’s so weird. There is nothing stressing me out currently, nothing new anyways. I have been having epic mood swings lately which I just attributed to my uterus being cranky about not having a fetus. Periods. I’ll be listening to Bryan Adams rave about his epic summer and be completely,truly in love with life for a minute and the next second I would be reminded of something awful that’s happening someplace else. I’m losing interest in routine a little by little. I don’t read novels into the night like I used to because it tires me. The act of applying sunscreen is too strenuous for me,nowadays. I eat to drown my stomach’s growls and I don’t remember the last time I enjoyed a meal. Or a movie. Routine is wearing me out. Waking up at 7 am , hospital duty, college lectures, scorching heat, innumerable tests, late night cramming and waking up again. You get the gist. Feeling like this is really annoying me. I’m going to be an aunt in a few months, I’m doing well academically, my friends and family love me and still..there’s something. I first thought maybe I’m turning 21 soon and I’m just horrified at the fact that I’m still very much single and haven’t even been kissed yet. Atleast not when I’m conscious.(another story, another post) but then luckily I have realised it isn’t that and it’s probably just the buried stress. I’m always the friend that makes jokes and puts everyone at ease. I have been so busy doing that, that I haven’t noticed my slow descent through the cracks.
I don’t even like watching movies with endings that don’t involve the guy,the dog and/or the girl riding into the sunset together. Unhappy endings are just so..depressing. Which is why I didn’t even want to post this at the first place but I just wanted to see if it makes any sense written down because it certainly makes none otherwise.
I have decided a change of scenery is what I probably need right now but I can’t drop everything smack in the middle and leave. It sucks being an adult. I’m taking a week off from college, hospital, sick people, healthy people, EVERYONE and going to Dubai to visit my dad. If there’s one thing in the world that would cheer me up, that’s probably the sight of my dad awkwardly patting my head to show how much he missed me at the airport and my cousin brothers who are in grade 2 and fighting over who gets to carry my bags -not because they are polite little angels or anything but purely as an attempt to steal all the goodies that I have brought from here.
Going to kick that nagging exhaustion with their help and replace it with a zest to live, love and experience things. Have you ever wanted to just put your foot down and say “Ok, ENOUGH is enough!”?