What will others think?

I have been reading so many posts by wonderful people that are having a hard time because they are being unfairly judged by random strangers. I have said this before that I don’t think anyone in the world has the right to judge another person especially if you haven’t bothered to check the background story that’s screaming silently.

That being said, the part where I live in India is brutal for judging women. My class consists of 250 lost souls. Most girls chat away into the night with the boys but in college they just walk past each other as strangers. Being me, I asked a few of them why they were doing so and the response was hilarious and so very sad at the same time. They were worried what ‘others would think’ if they saw them interacting with the opposite sex. Many don’t come out after 6 for the same reason. These others they talk about are not random strangers as I thought at first, but they are the so called friends that are just waiting to pounce on gossip.

Living for others is a noble concept mastered by great people like Gandhi, Abdul Kalam etc. But that’s an entirely different thing. These personalities did what they truly wanted to do. You can’t just live to satisfy everyone else but yourself. What’s the point of living then? We can compromise little things to bring a smile upon loved ones faces but compromising your entire life? I’m not that noble and I don’t think I want to be either. When I leave this place and head upwards or downwards, I don’t want “what if”s to plague me and make my already annoyed(I’m dead, obviously I’m not going to be very happy about it) soul want to engage in the much loved blame game. I rather be satisfied knowing that I, myself am responsible, for the most part ,for whatever successes or failures I face.

You can judge me all you want, grandma across the street but if I can sleep at night that means my conscience is clear and honestly that’s all I need to really worry about.

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30 thoughts on “What will others think?

  1. Yes, I have this in the southern part of India, people here are more conservative than I don’t know, there is no one to compare them with I guess. Having lived all my life in North, my parents have come to terms with the fact that I am open minded and I mingle with people of opposite sex more often. They don’t have much (at times mom has, dad is cool) issues with me introducing them to my parents or getting late night calls. On the other hand, when i see my relatives here, the moment they hear I am getting along with a friend who is a girl, their eyes pop up and thousands of question shoot in their mind. It’s the culture, Southern India is a late bloomer in this respect and as of now it still hasn’t come out of its comfort zone.
    As far as people judging you, don’t give a damn. People will judge even if you sit silently, it is inherent and default setting in humans. As long as you are happy with yourselves and your actions, nothing else matters. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • South India is a bit notorious for things like this. We have amazing sambhar but sometimes it doesn’t make up for their mindset. I don’t want to generalise by saying every one here are the same but having lived in Dubai for most my life I was pretty shocked at the reactions I see around here. My relatives get aneurysms when they see me with boys. My family is pretty open-minded, atleast compared to my friends’ family(what dad doesn’t know can’t hurt him, mom’s cool! πŸ˜‰ ) What I find extremely disturbing is how my relatives encourage my cousin brother who’s a “stud” with so many girlfriends and all but if I get two calls from different guys in a row I’m suddenly the one with loose morals?! Most of my relatives are sexist creeps.
      I’m at that stage where if someone claims to be offended indirectly by my actions I couldn’t even gather energy to pretend to care.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Haha mine got that when I told them I had a girl friend once. They were literally shocked and had their mouth opened. πŸ˜›
        You are right about guys, they don’t have a problem when their son is going out with someone else’s daughter but when it’s daughter, all hell breaks loose. Slowly few changes are creeping in, at least I can see them at my cousins level here, they have an open mind, but their parents and higher level still live in prehistoric era.

        Liked by 1 person

      • If I ever date, I would never ever tell my relatives. They would eat that poor guy alive and at the same time try to harass my parents to get me married off early to some random stranger before I ruin the family name. It’s a good thing that my dad can hold his ground under torture, I know this because he endured me,my mom and my sister without losing his mind entirely. πŸ˜‰

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    • Exactly! I just wish it was just as simple as in life as in theory! πŸ˜€ The only way one can do this in my opinion is gaining some independence. Right now, I’m financially dependent on my father, emotionally on my mother..and so on. So I have to consider their thoughts before I jump into anything. That doesn’t stop me from doing what I wanted to do in the first place though, so it’s all good. πŸ˜‰

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  2. There are already so many people who are quick to be judgmental…I can’t imagine how it is for you and your ‘friends’ (ha,ha) to be living with the added constraints that society has already put on you. That being said, you definitely seem to have the right attitude!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Will human beings ever be able to look at things objectively? I wonder. We haven’t even digested the entire information, before our mind starts making judgements. It’s become an inherent kind of nature and only conscious efforts will help eradicate the “pounce upon” attitude. Great topic to touch upon! I agree with you wholeheartedly.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I try my best to not get sucked into this vicious cycle of judging others. Our minds need to be trained to just let things be. I think judging others is something that ought to be reserved for the courts and maybe reality shows. πŸ˜‰ Thank you! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is so true!
    Having lived my life outside India, coming to a college in India for my undergrad studies seas more than a bit of a shocker.
    My college is an all-girls’ one. But, what shocks me the most is how much one girl judges another. Not based on your personality, but appearances. If you are too fat, too dark, too happy, too sad, or if your hair is curly, you are looked down upon. If you don’t have a boyfriend, it is because you are either gay or so repulsive for guys to have like you. But, if you do have a boyfriend, you are a slut.
    The kind of irrational judgement here knows no bounds, honestly!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I know exactly how you feel! I’m in the same situation. I came here for my undergrad too. I was shocked at how judgmental girls were towards each other. At first I thought it was childish and silly but then I noticed how “friends” with their not-so-subtle comments tried to make others more insecure. It was frustrating. From marks to boyfriends, most of them are so competitive. I’m glad that I have better things in life to do than pass irrational judgments about people. Aand thank you for that comment. I was vigorously nodding my head agreeing to all your words as I read it. I’m a bit dizzy now but it was worth it! πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

      • Exactly! I was used to having friends who were so supportive of one another.
        Then, bam! I land up in a place where a so-called ‘friend’ thinks it is okay to say, “Dude! You hair is so curly and ugly! Why don’t you straighten it? At least then you’ll look good. You have a nice face, your hair makes it repulsive though.”
        Or that is okay to stop talking with a person one fine day, without a fight or any sort of disagreement or misunderstanding. The reason either being:
        1. She felt that the other person was not cool enough, by her standards.
        2. What will others think if she was found speaking to someone who isn’t considered cool enough?
        -_-

        Like

  5. I’m the worst judge of myself but I thought others were judging everything I did or said. Fortunately, that was all in my head πŸ˜€ I enjoy reading about your part of the world and I’m happy to hear you strive to be different than what is expected and sleep well at night.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I live in a reality show where everyone thinks of themselves as Simon Cowell. πŸ˜› He’s the only face that comes to my head when I think of mean judges. I don’t do anything that keeps me awake at night. After all, the only things I’m really good at are eating, sleeping and minding my own business. I wouldn’t want to mess up my talents by trying to satisfy others. πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

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