Why I’m not very fond of spending more than 15 minutes with a kid

The heading’s a bit word-ey but it fits. Barely.

I’m usually in my senses so you’d think that I wouldn’t find myself in awkward situations way too often but this is how the scene usually plays out :

My mom : Chanduuuuuuuu(my pet name, long story) Look who has come, your BEST friend. *points at a 8 year old kid I have never seen before*
Me : Er..ma I don’t thin- *flinches at her infamous glare* Hi! What’s your name?
Mom : Go play with her, you have lots in common! Have fun!

See? I am helpless. This is how it all starts. The end of time. I’m slightly exaggerating? I don’t think so.

Type 1

Annoying Nosy Curious kid : Oooo who are you talking to on the phone?
Me : Bfratheu*(It’s supposed to be a name, that’s the best I could come up with).
Kid: OOOOOOOOO MYTHILI AND BFRATHEU(I should have written Paul or Raj. Ugh!) sitting on a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Me: Um, sir? I am so sorry. No,no I understand you are just helping me out with my coursework! You are 60, that would make you a pedophile sir. Haha..no, sir it was a joke!…sir? Hello? Hellloo?

Type 2

The kid with a thorn up his ass
Active kid : What’s this? What’s this?
Me : No, don’t touch that! That’s my favourite book. DROP IT.
Active kid : nanananaboooobooo *starts doing dangerous impressive acrobatic-like actions with the book*
Now, I’m concerned about the kid’s neck too. If something goes wrong he would drop my book and .. UGH! The page would fold. I can’t even…no..

Type 3

Shy kid : *blinks*
Me : mmm..So who is your best friend? Do you like iron man? I loveeee iron man! Blue is so pretty.
—-10 mins later—-
Shy kid : You are wrong. Iron man’s suit is not made by your love. That’s a silly stupid dumb thing to say. Iron man is actually a misnomer since the suit isn’t made of Iron. It’s actually made of an alloy…
Me: ……

Type 4

Kim Kardashian Princess/Ken : Can I pleaaasse braid your hair?
Me : Um, I don’t know..
Princess/Ken : And also pierce your nose? After applying nailpolish to all your fingernails and toenails ofcourse. Pleaseeeeee

Type 5

The complain box The avid observer : Are you supposed to be wiping your hands that’s dripping with chocolate on your dog?
Me : *in fake casual voice*
Sure. He loves it. It’s like his favourite deodorant. I’m not lazy or anything. I mean granted the towel is in the washroom which is 7 steps from where I’m sitting which may seem like quite a distance to some..but not me. *coughs*
Observer : Hmm..let’s ask my MOMMY. M-O-M-M-E-E-E-E-E

As you can see, through no fault of mine kids and I share a love-hate relationship. My sister is five/six months into her pregnancy and it’s super exciting which is why I had a random thought on kids in general and hence this post! I’m going to be an AUNT SOOOON! Wait..what’s all those wrinkles doing on your forehead? Don’t you think I can totally nail this “aunt” thing ? πŸ˜€

45 thoughts on “Why I’m not very fond of spending more than 15 minutes with a kid

  1. I was/am still very much like that, being an aunt is the best thing in the world, especially if you are a child at heart. I took my nephews to indoor play areas (these are fantastic, especially if you can get there on a weekday morning during term time, because it is only you) you get to be immature, fill them up with sugar and not have to deal with the whole routine, telling off, punishment stuff. But it could backfire on you if you have your own. For Christmas my sister got my son a drum set.

    Oh and even though I have my own I can’t stand other people’s children

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hahaha a drum set! Ouch! So I must make the most of the opportunity and do things that I have always wanted to do, things that would seem a bit strange if you did it alone and weren’t accompanying a minor! πŸ˜€
      I probably would have to flee the country when I have my own since my sister is notorious at paybacks.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. …gawd!!! some grammatical errors in that comment…. wait…I’ll type again πŸ™‚
    congratulations in advance on you being an aunt πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ sure u’ll make a great one… just a little practice before you have a set of your own…not ‘our’…’your’ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ tho’ life can surprise us…lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My cousin sister had her baby a week ago. Another addition to the long list of niece’s and nephews. They are the naughtiest you will find. When 3 of them climb up on you and you are forced to carry them around. God save my scrawny body. πŸ˜›
    On a different note: background on pet name please? πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hahah! That sounds a bit scary. I like playing with kids from a certain minimum distance.
      Ah! The thing is, I like to keep my comments short and precise to the point. *sniggers* so I don’t answer ALL questions. On a serious note, it’s honestly too long to be discussed here. I’ll narrate it when you will be trying not to cry out in pain while getting tattooed. Deal? πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Omg my pet name is chandu too! But your post was so funny, I love kids but I hate all the spoilt ones like the ones you mentioned above. I’m sure you’ll make a great aunt πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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