The heading’s a bit word-ey but it fits. Barely.
I’m usually in my senses so you’d think that I wouldn’t find myself in awkward situations way too often but this is how the scene usually plays out :
My mom : Chanduuuuuuuu(my pet name, long story) Look who has come, your BEST friend. *points at a 8 year old kid I have never seen before*
Me : Er..ma I don’t thin- *flinches at her infamous glare* Hi! What’s your name?
Mom : Go play with her, you have lots in common! Have fun!
See? I am helpless. This is how it all starts. The end of time. I’m slightly exaggerating? I don’t think so.
Type 1 –
Annoying Nosy Curious kid : Oooo who are you talking to on the phone?
Me : Bfratheu*(It’s supposed to be a name, that’s the best I could come up with).
Kid: OOOOOOOOO MYTHILI AND BFRATHEU(I should have written Paul or Raj. Ugh!) sitting on a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Me: Um, sir? I am so sorry. No,no I understand you are just helping me out with my coursework! You are 60, that would make you a pedophile sir. Haha..no, sir it was a joke!…sir? Hello? Hellloo?
Type 2 –
The kid with a thorn up his ass
Active kid : What’s this? What’s this?
Me : No, don’t touch that! That’s my favourite book. DROP IT.
Active kid : nanananaboooobooo *starts doing dangerous impressive acrobatic-like actions with the book*
Now, I’m concerned about the kid’s neck too. If something goes wrong he would drop my book and .. UGH! The page would fold. I can’t even…no..
Type 3 –
Shy kid : *blinks*
Me : mmm..So who is your best friend? Do you like iron man? I loveeee iron man! Blue is so pretty.
—-10 mins later—-
Shy kid : You are wrong. Iron man’s suit is not made by your love. That’s a silly stupid dumb thing to say. Iron man is actually a misnomer since the suit isn’t made of Iron. It’s actually made of an alloy…
Type 4 –
Kim Kardashian Princess/Ken : Can I pleaaasse braid your hair?
Me : Um, I don’t know..
Princess/Ken : And also pierce your nose? After applying nailpolish to all your fingernails and toenails ofcourse. Pleaseeeeee
Type 5 –
The complain box The avid observer : Are you supposed to be wiping your hands that’s dripping with chocolate on your dog?
Me : *in fake casual voice*
Sure. He loves it. It’s like his favourite deodorant. I’m not lazy or anything. I mean granted the towel is in the washroom which is 7 steps from where I’m sitting which may seem like quite a distance to some..but not me. *coughs*
Observer : Hmm..let’s ask my MOMMY. M-O-M-M-E-E-E-E-E
As you can see, through no fault of mine kids and I share a love-hate relationship. My sister is five/six months into her pregnancy and it’s super exciting which is why I had a random thought on kids in general and hence this post! I’m going to be an AUNT SOOOON! Wait..what’s all those wrinkles doing on your forehead? Don’t you think I can totally nail this “aunt” thing ? 😀