Shadows

I really should be sleeping but obviously my mind seems to think that my shadow seems like a valid excuse to get kicked out of class tomorrow for catching up on my sleep that I’m losing NOW.

I’m actually tracing doodles on the wall with my thumb and trying, and failing miserably to make shadows of a scary dog. My impression looks just like a hand. Which it obviously actually is. *sighs*

Speaking Writing of shadows, Recently I did something I’m not entirely proud of but would probably do it again if I had another chance. One of my closest friends has basically fallen for a guy who, for a refreshing change, I genuinely like. So YAY rainbows and unicorns everywhere. However me,being ME figured I’m not going to lose anything if I’m a little cautious. I convinced myself that it’s for the sake of my sensitive friend but who am I kidding..it’s really just for me to put my mind to ease. So I basically did what Indian families do when they find someone they like on the matrimony site, I asked around for a background check. NO,DON’T. I KNOW.

Anyway, the point is NOBODY knows the guy. Despite spending around 5 years in a college, none of the juniors or seniors know him!!
It’s too risky to check with his batchmates since I don’t want him to get wind of this and realise that one of his ‘soon to be-girl’s’ best friends has..erm questionable habits. By the time I realised I shouldn’t be interfering and that I could always make him miserable IF he hurts her I realised he was probably just like a shadow at college.

Down the lane, when some person with the same questionable habit(who is hopefully as harmless and a little pathetic, if you may, like me) asks my juniors or seniors about me I don’t want them to rave about how ‘awesome’ I was(because let’s face it they won’t) but I don’t want them to not know me either. I read a really nice post recently that I can’t seem to find now since my net is having moodswings, stating that humans seem indecisive about many things. We don’t know if we want to stand out or to blend in by belonging somewhere? I am tired of literally, standing out in school. At 5’10 where the average height is 5’5 (boys and girls) standing out was inevitable. Leadership skills? I can’t even say no to a person without following it up “hahah, I’m just kidding ofcourse, I’ll do it” . I’ll probably be the squad leader who would approve Hitler’s decisions to carry out his version of ‘cleansing’ the human race inorder to avoid the discomfort at watching his sad expression if I were to deny his request.
It’s too late or early-now at 4 am, depending on how you look at it to ponder if I should try to stand out or blend in. So I’m just going to perfect this shadow of the dog that still looks like a deformed hand and do things that I usually do without worrying about whether it will impact the world or not. As long as I’m being myself and doing things that make me happy, I don’t think anything else matters. Although I must learn to reign in the “mother hen” tendencies to try to run a pathetic attempt of a background check on people and just learn to trust them to not hurt anyone I know and love. Or atleast trust my little ‘chicks’ to be able to fend for themselves. Hats off to parents everywhere. I don’t know how you don’t give in to that desire to lock your children in to keep them safe. One naive amazing friend and I want to keep her locked up high in a tower so that she doesn’t hurt herself. Awesome. It’s 4 am and I sound like a sexist creepy evil witch from a fairytale. It’s not going to end well for me if this continues, is it?

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20 thoughts on “Shadows

    • Hahah! There are days I can sleep standing while waiting for my bus..and then some like yesterday when I’m tucked in and all comfortable, my mind decides to fixate on silly things and eluding sleep! Thanks for dropping by! 😀

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      • Ugh! Some people are terrible at waking others up. My mom used to bring down the whole house yelling at me every morning to wake me up! Even now my entire day depends on the way I wake up/someone wakes me up. I hope your ankle heals soon! 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  1. Given what I know of you and your past, I understand your desire to look out for your friend’s well being. Just try to be sly, and don’t get caught by either party! No harm, no foul. You have only the best of intentions, but some people may take them the wrong way… so just watch your back my dear! 😘
    And get some damn sleep! 😪💋💕

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have to be super sneaky! I’ll totally brag about it later while giving the wedding toast. Hopefully it won’t get me kicked out of the wedding..that is if I’m invited in the first place! 😉 Thank you :*
      I did get some sleep in the end but sadly my shadow impression of a dog is still a work in progress!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Bahaha! You’re getting so far ahead of yourself! You must approve of him if you’re hearing wedding bells….
        I’m glad you got some sleep. You’ll get the hang of that shadow dog. Watch some instructional videos on YouTube! 😘

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hahaha I know nothing yet! 😉 For my family, once we like each other’s profile in the matrimony site, TA-DAH wedding bells starts ringing! So it doesn’t take much to get there 😉
        Youtube! Damn! Why didn’t I think of that earlier?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Lol! Good grief! Slow your roll woman! 😘 There’s plenty of life to live BEFORE marriage. Take from an old married lady….
        And yeah YouTube is a wealth of resources lol!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh damn! I keep telling myself that I won’t turn into ‘that’ kind of parent. The one who has to know every single move of their kids, but reading this I’m becoming aware that it’s hard to not be that. Asking for privacy is very easy. But giving it, not so.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I haven’t turned 21 yet and I am showing great signs of being an overbearing parent. 😉 Which is rather hypocritical of me since I place personal space above every thing and I have never shied away from voicing my opinion if my freedom is curbed. You are absolutely right. 🙂

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  3. People will always have something bad to say about other people (I know it’s not relevant to you post cause nobody said any bad stuff) but my point is that we can’t lie our life according to please or be noticed by others or we’ll never be happy because we ended up living for others and not ourselves. And I completely agree with you on locking kids away bit, I’m so protective over my friends as well, I can’t bear to see them hurt

    Liked by 1 person

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