No. This will not help you in any way if your partner is into voyeurism and you are seeking ways to get comfortable with it if you aren’t already.
This post will hopefully help prevent emotional trauma that you will experience in situations like finding out mid-shower that you aren’t the only one in the bathroom and that there is a FREAKING lizard on the ceiling with questionable balance skills! Probably be applicable with other little creatures too.
Step 1 : DO NOT RUN OUT OF THE BATHROOM.
The spectator will play with your emotions and you may fail to REMEMBER that you are naked. I ran out butt naked mid-potty when I spotted a gigantic spider right next to me when I was not as young as I would have liked to be during that episode. It didn’t help that we had guests over that day. Also, you may also forget to pull up your pants. I’ll leave what little is left unsaid for your imagination.
Step 2 : DO NOT MAKE SUDDEN MOVES
While you may think this is a smart move on your part to startle and scare the creature off, DON’T. I found a wiggling piece of a tail DETACHED from the rest of the body of the lizard on my head once. Apparently it’s some sort of defence mechanism. Fight or flight..OR DROP A PIECE OF YOUR BODY THAT STILL MOVES ON IT’S OWN on the predator. Mother nature, why?
Step 3 : NEVER EVER EVER LOSE SIGHT
Always keep the intruder in your line of vision. Even if it means burning eyes due to soap or shampoo. The only thing scarier than finding some crawling bug semi/entirely naked is when it suddenly goes missing…and when it does, ignore step 1 and get the hell out of there.
I’m doing such a good job helping humanity that I’m thinking of making this 3 step thing a regular feature here! 😀 I will however not be giving instructions to survive the impending zombie apocalypse. One must always keep some secrets to themselves. I read somewhere that in the ‘good old days’ emperors would chop their architect and builder’s hands after they completed a masterpiece so as to prevent them from recreating the work elsewhere. This is why I may have to hold back some vital information. With humans, being humans you can never tell what we would do next to a person who has nothing more to offer. Ok, this is waayy too serious for a discussion regarding zombie apocalypses!