I remember when I was little, my mom advising me to be a good girl so that I don’t get dragged away by the mean looking relative with the thick moustache(not to be sold away as a sex slave or anything, just probably to a land where there’s no nutella or something equally terrifying). Now with a few more days left to being 21 years old, I’m still not sure what she meant. I mean, I NOW know that the uncle is the sweetest kindest thing that couldn’t hurt a fly but was targeted because of his mean looking moustache. That’s not what confuses me. What does being a “good girl” or a good person in general mean?
I have long realised that being good is very subjective. While a child looks on at someone being bullied and manages to stay out of trouble is perceived as ‘good’ by some..what about the child that gets involved but gets into trouble with the authorities for using force? Is that good or bad behaviour?
What is right? What isn’t? Who are we to judge, to be honest. My mom was raised to believe that it was wrong to question the males of the family since they are always right. My dad was raised to believe that housework must be split between the women and men and groaning about doing a ‘woman’s chore’ was wrong. Granted the women from my mom’s side of the family are scatterbrained and are only equipped with the talent of gossiping, so maybe the men took charge of making the decisions to keep the family afloat. Or maybe it’s because the women weren’t allowed in any of the decision making, they strutted off to keep themselves entertained with who’s sleeping with whom and the who hates whom’s? Aand as always I have strayed away from topic. This tends to happen when I mention my maternal branches of the family tree. You cannot just grant them a few words and move on if you have even the littlest of hopes to justify their actions. You can’t,anyways.
Returning to black and white. There are laws for the hard stuff. You can’t rape a woman and claim it was satisfying for her, so it was basically done in good intention. Thankfully, the law doesn’t entertain shades of grey based on irrational perspectives. What about the easy stuff? Is it good to convey information to a really good friend that came into your grasp by eavesdropping? Despite it proving to be a great help for your friend? Can you try to explain it to your dad who has to drive 200 kms in the dead of the night to collect you since you got into trouble while trying to help out a couple that was being treated unfairly at the hands of some villagers whose homes they accidentally crashed into that,what you did was good despite him have to leave behind your very sick mother alone? Is being good turning your head the other way if that means you get to stay out of trouble? Or jumping right into the matters you feel are unjust?
Do you tell a friend that her boyfriend, who is also your friend is seeing another girl behind her back because he likes both of them? Or do you listen to his frustration at facing confrontation? Or do you stay out of it all and risk getting the “HOW COULD YOU?” from one of them? Gah! Decisions, decisions.
I’m going back into my cave where I’m 6 years old and on top of a tree defiantly staring into my mother’s frustrated face while she gestures about how bad I have been since I ruined the new dress and how if I continue to be bad, my big scary uncle will drag me away to a nutella-less land which is where bad children that don’t listen to their mommies all go. So much more simpler.