Being “that girl”

I know I usually write about light topics but this news has been bothering me so much that I feel like I’m failing as a human being if I keep silent.

Recently a story broke out about the brutal murder and gang rape of a 8 year old child in Jammu(Indian administered part).

I’m not going into the details of it, The media is having a field day describing her 4 days of torture and I don’t know enough words to express how I’m sure people with hearts and a bit of a soul must be feeling. That being said, in the wake of this terrible tragedy the reactions of unfortunately a lot of people are disturbing to say the least.

This tragedy has been somehow transformed to a religious issue because the monsters who did this to her and the child belong to different religions. So now those(not all but quite a lot) who worship the same god/or are born into the same religion as those of the monsters are…supporting them. That’s right. You read it right. Read it again.

My grandfather has always been a sexist person with a mindset that could easily get him executed by the mildest of people but somehow over the years I have adapted to his remarks and they don’t bother me as much. I’m bringing this up because the comments people – educated people, mind you born in this decade are making about this gruesome incident are chilling even to me – a person who has developed tolerance for all unprovoked sexist nonsense.

Rape isn’t a new thing unfortunately in India. And while remarks like “Well. She shouldn’t have worn that.” “She was asking for it” “Boys will be boys” have always floated around, This game’s completely shifted from victim shaming to protecting and supporting the accused.

I’m so angry at everything. In a country where the number 1 priority in most households is to mould the daughter into perfect wife material to a stranger by teaching her how to sit, how to talk, how to cook, how to not talk back to your brother because well..he has a penis so he’s probably smarter, You’d think they’d actually care about the women after all the efforts they put in from the time she’s born. All these may seem archaic but the distressing reality is that all these views and practises still exist.

I among many were lucky enough to be raised by broad minded parents with nosy relatives playing minimal role in my upbringing. But when I hear childhood stories of friends they sound nothing short of a horror movie.

When I scroll through some of the comments made under posts highlighting women, I feel like stuffing a little inflated balloon down my pants to feel safer. These “thoughtful” remarks are sometimes made by people I interact with on a daily basis. I usually shy away from being so vocal about our differences in opinion since I didn’t want to be “that girl”.

There are many versions of “that girl” ofcourse :

“That girl” who wears short clothes.
“That girl” who laughs too loud when boys are around.
“That girl” who will definitely get burned one day taking in the amount of time she spends with boys.
“That girl” who doesn’t realise what a privilege it is that she’s allowed to choose the field she wants to study in and still complains about patriarchy.
“That girl” who drinks.

But you know what, I think it’s about time we all be “that girl”. Feminazi, bitches or whatever labels you give us won’t change the fact that your opinion about victims is a huge mistake just like what your dad did by relying on the pull out method.

I’m done tiptoeing.  They tell us that if we are open and bold about drinking, wearing short clothes and having opinions we invite attention and that in turn will bring a whole lot of trouble. If a fully clothed child can go through this only to have her own people turn their back against her by protecting those who tortured her because of completely misplaced religious sentiments, I assume it’s safe to say that I’m ashamed of what we have become. You should be too.

I’m sorry India but you failed us women-no..not just women but all human beings.

It’s sad that cows are more protected(for religious purposes ofcourse) than women here. It’s sad that women need to be “protected” at all. Beef eaters are supposedly treated worse than rapists in some parts. I strongly believe that religion was meant to bring people together. It’s a personal choice. It shouldn’t make you do things that makes others question your entire race’s existence.

Atheist, agnostic, religious, man, woman, gender fluid, CHILD, baby, infant…whatever be the case, We are human beings first and foremost. It’s heart breaking and pitiful that people have forgotten that.

That’s all.

3 thoughts on “Being “that girl”

  1. Doc!! All of us feel bad for the incident and when I started about the resolution, I’m clueless as:
    • Though the govt. brings stringent laws or not it’s everyone’s responsibility to respect or atleast not to hurt women (any species)
    • Immediately, I felt WTF I’m speaking about, since generations we are the same human beings who might be restricted women to Kitchen in old era, now encourage them for their ambitions/goals but how on earth someone can do this.. There isn’t such scenario in our elders times.
    • Frankly, I’m lost in the middle here and posting this comment..
    Probably, it’s time for harsh punishments and strong promotion for humanity awareness (anyway, we don’t care nature/anything which doesn’t give us perks)

    Glad, you don’t have those nosy relatives interference in your life.. Truly, you are blessed.


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