Little miss lazy

Our cultural events in college just got over which explains why I haven’t been around lately. I had a great time! I met lots of like minded people from various colleges which is a big deal since the college I attend is loosely referred to as the ‘nerd hub’ for justified reasons. Now that the events are over, I have a huge growing pile of laundry that I have so far successfully been able to ignore if I look right ahead and partially close my right eye. For this method to work now, I may have to close both my eyes. Only then will the growing pile completely disappear from my field of view. I’m not even going to get started about the state of my room. Let’s just say the past few days, I would barge in at 6 am, shower if perverted peeping lizards don’t show up, grab bread that’s barely visible under all THAT nutella, leave and get back by 6 am the next day. So I don’t need to tell you that now that as I’m slowly easing myself back to routine, I’m sleeping in a pile of padded bras,novels, wires etc. There’s so much of cleaning up to do that the very  thought of initiating it is getting me exhausted.

I have zero stamina since I’m not eating right and I don’t remember the last time I moved voluntarily unless it was absolutely necessary. Our hospital postings have started and I can’t stand continuously for 4 hours without my ears starting to ring and my vision getting blurry. I’ll probably be the kind that dozes off in the middle of sex. Hopefully the lucky guy won’t mind necrophilia and can finish the job off by himself.

I’m turning 21 next month! I don’t want to in the next post I’ll talk about it.

Hopefully by the time I type in my next post, I may have moved a little and done SOMETHING. Right now, I give myself little pats on my back when I manage to get up to pee instead of holding it in and wait for other ‘urges’ to develop so I can finish every thing off together instead of doing it one at a time.

You can say it aloud. I need help. Any tips to prevent me from being a part of the furniture? I’m afraid IT’s a bit too late..I think my butt has melted already and gotten entangled with the cot. Why else would it be so hard to lift it off the bed?


If I looked this cute, I wouldn't be that worried about my melted butt.


I JUST realised I’ll only graduate in 2019

Just an undergraduate course, too!
So I’ll be daddy’s little BIG girl for a long time. And unemployed..till 2019 since I’m studying.

This is how I figure usual conversations of my friends and mine would flow in 2019  :

C(hot shot Charted accountant) – No..NO NO! I WILL NOT CHANGE my evaluation of your company’s statements. HAW!YOU think I can be bribed? Listen to me mister –Oh,guys I’m soo sorry, I’ll just be on the phone for two more seconds– Yes, what? Oh!..How many MK’S are we talking about?And shoes? Hm..okay I’ll see what I can do.

A(craves to be a mommy) : I just wish we could try again you NOW. I know I know..I heard the doctor. It just feels like we are wasting time. I wish science comes up with an answer so that we can begin making our third baby while the second one is still in my uterus. Maybe one day. For now, let’s just wait for this one’s due date. *sighs*

L(the ‘mysterious’ dude) :
Number one :Just transfer 7 billion to the Zurich account. Yes. NOW.
Number two : Handle it discreetly.

Me : *prods random stranger since everyone at my table is busy with their phones* DUDE DUDE DUDE..this dude over here asked someone to handle number two discreetly..HAHAHAHAHA!


Yes, you read it right! For an eternity(atleast seems like it) I have been trying to convince my family to visit me in Chennai. An idea my sister and her husband aren’t too fond about since the weather is terrible here.

There’s this act we often play out in Malayalam when we hear/witness something incredibly rare(someone taking a bath, someone get the gist) we run to our windows and squint about and exclaim loudly and sarcastically that no crow is flying with it’s belly faced up, so the world seems to be actually functioning properly which is incredible seeing how the events are unfolding the way they are.

Sooo..the point is instead of spending the weekend on my bed binging on chips and soap operas, MY ENTIRE FAMILY(DAD, MOM,SISTER, BROTHER IN LAW-I felt the need to clarify, ignore me I’m gloating) HAS DECIDED TO COME DOWN HERE FOR THE WEEKEND!! It was a sudden decision made –
because we miss you‘(parents)
because we were bored‘(sister)
FOOD FOOD!‘(brother in law) ??

Whatever the reason, I’m ecstatic! 😀 Unfortunately I had to reschedule a meeting with one of the nicest bloggers I have had the opportunity to know to another day. I hope the honey-coated words will soothe the pain that you may be feeling-No, not the pain you feel because of wearing yourself off by dancing around happily like a lunatic when I cancelled plans.

I’m supposed to be attending college tomorrow but I’m starting my weekend early!! So YAAAAYYY! Hope you guys have a great weekend tooo! 😀


The title sums up everything. You know your day may not go quite well when you end up swatting flies and scratching yourself from 2 am only to realise at 4 am that your roommate with a libido that jump starts when she sees anyone that has shown a teeny tiny interest in you but has quite an inactive brain left the door to the room WIDE OPEN. So needless to say, I woke up grumpy, annoyed and just basically wanted to hide under my blanket for the rest of the day or actually year.


This is probably how my roommate's mother feels..everyday!

It also doesn’t help that the protagonist in the book I was reading was going through a hard time. I can’t explain it but I am what I read. If the lead is extremely happy, so am I. If she’s trying to slip past a paid hitman, I’ll be jumpy even when the book is closed for a bit so I can carry on with the activites in my life. I don’t leave the bed for days if it ends on a sad note. Yes, Nicholas Sparks had driven my family mad when I was younger.

I’m not miserable. I have no reasons to feel so. I’m not even tired since my postings are relatively relaxed this month. I just don’t care. Tests,exams,cultural events..I’m finding it very hard to care about anything. I’m a person that recquires a teeny bit of stress for that very much needed push to the finish line. It usually helps me be productive. A little of it, not too much though! But lately I’m finding it very hard to even muster some interest which is the only thing that can evoke stress.

Last month at this time, I thought eradicating stress was the only step to happiness. I realise now indifference is worse.

You belong with meeee

Nobody other than Taylor Swift has said that to me and really meant it. She was screaming it to the cute guy in the video but I choose to ignore that.

I’m a malayalee NRI who is studying in Tamil Nadu. To make this easier on those who aren’t familiar with the terms used above, I was raised in a different country and my family originally hails from a state in India and I study in ANOTHER state in India. Phew. Yeah I think I nailed it. So what’s the big deal? Everyone moves. The thing is every single place is completely different. From the languages they speak – English,Arabic mainly in Dubai, Malayalam in Kerala and Tamil in TamilNadu to the mindsets quite liberal in Dubai, not so much in Kerala and Tamil Nadu. Anyways I don’t think geography is really an excuse, but that’s all I have for now.

I have never really ‘fitted in’ anywhere despite my attempts to do so. I’m an extremely friendly person that would shower smileys at you online or talk non-stop in our first meeting. I try so hard to make the other person more comfortable by joking about that I don’t even realise that I haven’t taken efforts to make +myself comfortable!

The thing is, I just ended a really toxic friendship with someone recently. It should be feeling good but instead the whole process of him screwing up-me getting mad-he apologizing profusely-me getting less mad-he being really nice-me letting it go-he screwing up AGAIN had become some sort of vicious circle that weirdly enough offered me some sense of stability. I don’t know how to explain it. I would know that, that particular friend would soon do something he would regret and blame it on his “state of mind” and I would feel sorry for him. Somehow I started depending on this terrible predictable pattern to function.

But you know what, it’s been way too long that I put my comfort and my ‘state of mind’ or whatever above somebody’s that clearly doesn’t value mine. I’m done craving approval from others while the only approval I should be bothered about is solely mine. There are some people in the world that no matter how many chances you give are bound to mess things up. I might be that person to someone else,who knows. But I’m done for now.

I spent most my life trying to be the ideal daughter, granddaughter(my grandfather can’t stand me, so it obviously didn’t work! I’m not complaining, he isn’t the perfect mentor I want in my life or anything.), friend that I forgot to be me. Very cliché and even more true.

I’m a little upset and I’m likely to be that way for a few hours or days so no, I’m not going to say something funny just because you aren’t feeling too good or because I’m supposed to do so since that’s what I DO! I’m going to mope for a while because I want to. And more importantly I CAN.

I have come way off topic now that I don’t even remember what I wanted to blog about in the first place. The point is for now I belong with me and the rest of my prized ‘possessions’ will just have to wait.

3 STEP GUIDE – Sharing private moments with an undesired spectator

No. This will not help you in any way if  your partner is into voyeurism and you are seeking ways to get comfortable with it if you aren’t already.


This image is in no way related to the post. But he has pretty eyes. Well AN eye.

This post will hopefully help prevent emotional trauma that you will experience in situations like finding out mid-shower that you aren’t the only one in the bathroom and that there is a FREAKING lizard on the ceiling with questionable balance skills! Probably be applicable with other little creatures too.


The spectator will play with your emotions and you may fail to REMEMBER that you are naked. I ran out butt naked mid-potty when I spotted a gigantic spider right next to me when I was not as young as I would have liked to be during that episode. It didn’t help that we had guests over that day. Also, you may also forget to pull up your pants. I’ll leave what little is left unsaid for your imagination.


While you may think this is a smart move on your part to startle and scare the creature off, DON’T. I found a wiggling piece of a tail DETACHED from  the rest of the body of the lizard on my head once. Apparently it’s some sort of defence mechanism. Fight or flight..OR DROP A PIECE OF YOUR BODY THAT STILL MOVES ON IT’S OWN on the predator. Mother nature, why?


Always keep the intruder in your line of vision. Even if it means burning eyes due to soap or shampoo. The only thing scarier than finding some crawling bug semi/entirely naked is when it suddenly goes missing…and when it does, ignore step 1 and get the hell out of there.

I’m doing such a good job helping humanity that I’m thinking of making this 3 step thing a regular feature here! 😀 I will however not be giving instructions to survive the impending zombie apocalypse. One must always keep some secrets to themselves. I read somewhere that in the ‘good old days’ emperors would chop their architect and builder’s hands after they completed a masterpiece so as to prevent them from recreating the work elsewhere. This is why I may have to hold back some vital information. With humans, being humans you can never tell what we would do next to a person who has nothing more to offer. Ok, this is waayy too serious for a discussion regarding zombie apocalypses!

Pinocchio, PLEASE!


Boundaries. If it weren’t for them we would be claiming each other’s lands, sleeping in our neighbor’s house and maybe in their beds along with their spouses too. Basically utter chaos would ensue if we didn’t keep them. Metaphorical or not, they are important.

Yes, I know the previous blog post was about me trying to dig up some dirt on my friend’s crush without her knowledge which is a clear violation of staying within the boundary. In my defense, whatever boundaries that existed flew out of the window when we used to take bubble baths together in our childhood so it doesn’t matter.  *Hypocrisy at it’s best*

Right, now that’s settled. I think I might need to piss around myself to mark my territory which contains well, just me since some people seem to mistake me as public property. Oh, I’m sorry you want to know what’s happening in my life even though you aren’t my friend so that you can pass some crude comments about what I should be doing and what I shouldn’t! That sounds lovely, grab some popcorn will you, this might take a while!

No, you just CANNOT poke my chest area when I’m wearing a skin-fit dress and say “My, my, my so they do exist..barely but still!” if I don’t know you well. That’s just weird! True, but WEIRD.

Ugh. It’s so much harder since I’m a woman. Not because I’m more prone to get hurt in the emotional aspects. Please. It’s just harder to pee around yourself and not soil yourself in the process.


If only people were more like Voldemort..the world would be all about rainbows and unicorns!

What about you? How do you twart away the nosy Pinocchios in your life? Ideas other than standing in a circle made by your urine will be deeply appreciated.

On being Marco..

You remember the time you spent 3 hours hiding under a bed at some random furniture shop marveling at your brilliance? You thought you finally figured out the only place in the world where you would never get caught. The realisation that your friends had stopped playing the game after the first hour came a bit later than you would have ideally preferred but the point is, hide and seek is actually a really fun game. If your friends weren’t jerks that gave up too easily that is. Now, have you played hide and seek with an inanimate object? The one that doesn’t quite grasp the rules? Despite going crazy seeking them out and yelling surrender, they still refuse to come out. It’s NOT FUN.

This is what me and my mom were playing at my sister’s place at 2 am yesterday..or today morning, to be precise. It’s not the first time we are playing it but it’s been long since we last played it so we were a little out of touch. Did I mention that this game is always initiated unintentionally by me? I’m not clumsy despite what people claim. My things just like their owner refuse to conform to expectations – ‘The scissor can’t just FLY on it’s own now, CAN IT?’ Maybe it got sick of people telling it that its not supposed to fly and it just took off-literally. So yesterday, I lost my paper disappeared. It’s of average significance compared to the other things I have misplaced that have run away from me so I wasn’t very worried about finding it. They all eventually come back. My mother should know better, they always came to her first when I was younger. They probably still would but she doesn’t live with me anymore and their cover will be blown if they turn up infront of her. I am not you have a better explanation as to how exactly  three seconds after I search the exact spot, my mother finds the thing?

Clearly my mom needs me. She’s completely lost her touch at making things appear magically while keeping her cool. It’s been so long that we turned a place upside down. It used to be a regular occurrence when I was in school so much that it used to be “Our thing”, you know. The playful bickering, the ‘How many times do I have to tell you’s and the immediate transition to the fake cheery ‘Don’t worry We’ll find it. We have all night!’ after watching my face fall. I miss this. I didn’t realise that losing the same things is different when you stay away from home. Lately I have been a little preoccupied with my things and my mom with my sister’s pregnancy so we haven’t had much time for each other. Dab on her menopausal mood swings to my growing impatience, we have basically spent no time together at all. This post is to thank the paper that magically turned up in my brother in law’s cupboard (How? I don’t know) . Thank you for making me and my mom crawl on our knees, stand on our toes, lie flat on our stomach and what-not. We may have failed to locate you but we didn’t fail us. Which means a whole lot more than finding a semi-important paper anyways.

P.S. If my brother in law is reading this, very unlikely but still. Don’t gloat just because you found it. It was JUST dumb LUCK! Until next time..!

Babies and butt-prints

Lazy Saturdays are the best! That’s a lie actually, lazy any-day is good for me. However I was dragged from the couch strategically placed right in front of the television while indulging in nutella to accompany my pregnant sister to her check-up. I tried to charmingly explain it to my mom why I must stay put and not leave but the “MA I’M 20 YEARS OLD! I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE” won’t be taken seriously if your chin and forehead has nutella stains on it. So that’s why I’m blogging from the hospital and leaving butt-prints at places other than the couch at home. My mom must be so proud.

Anyways, I’m wearing an oversized tshirt and my hair is a complete mess. I dress up ‘appropriately’ to hospitals every day of the week,  so I’m not even trying today. But ooo ooooo the doctor pointed out my little nephew/niece in the scan. The baby seems to be following our tradition of leaving as little as butt-prints possible. Despite the doctors attempts to try to ‘shake things up’ the baby resolutely stayed dormant. I have a feeling I’ll get along well with this one! She showed us his/her thighs, hands, head and the tiny, tiny beats of the heart. In our family, we don’t really hug,kiss or display any sort of emotions excessively. We are very informal with each other, I sometimes call my mom by her first name but we all get uncomfortable with public display. In that room when that little heart was ticking, I thought if this was a movie everyone would have their eyes brimming with tears but we all seemed composed and bored on the outside but I’m sure everyone was flipping out in their own little way inside. My sister, who is the baby of the family despite being 5 years older is having one of her own. I don’t think I’m going to believe it till I hear the incessant wailing!
There was also continuous playful bickering with my brother in law who claims I resemble a homeless person with zero sense of hygiene which is TOTALLY untrue. Granted I look a little messy at all times, but he’s just exaggerating..hopefully. So it was nice when a completely cute stranger who was taller than me(I should have abducted him, ugh!) started a totally random conversation with me in the elevator. Super friendly too but not in that creepy way that I am sometimes.

And to top it off, tomorrow is..yes say it with me..A SUNDAY! From Monday, it’s internal exams, drastic weather, confrontation with a roommate who can’t take a hint..but that’s for another post. As of now, I’m just going to harass my brother in law and turn my eyes away from anything that’s yellow. All these minions everywhere is giving me a headache.


I really should be sleeping but obviously my mind seems to think that my shadow seems like a valid excuse to get kicked out of class tomorrow for catching up on my sleep that I’m losing NOW.

I’m actually tracing doodles on the wall with my thumb and trying, and failing miserably to make shadows of a scary dog. My impression looks just like a hand. Which it obviously actually is. *sighs*

Speaking Writing of shadows, Recently I did something I’m not entirely proud of but would probably do it again if I had another chance. One of my closest friends has basically fallen for a guy who, for a refreshing change, I genuinely like. So YAY rainbows and unicorns everywhere. However me,being ME figured I’m not going to lose anything if I’m a little cautious. I convinced myself that it’s for the sake of my sensitive friend but who am I’s really just for me to put my mind to ease. So I basically did what Indian families do when they find someone they like on the matrimony site, I asked around for a background check. NO,DON’T. I KNOW.

Anyway, the point is NOBODY knows the guy. Despite spending around 5 years in a college, none of the juniors or seniors know him!!
It’s too risky to check with his batchmates since I don’t want him to get wind of this and realise that one of his ‘soon to be-girl’s’ best friends has..erm questionable habits. By the time I realised I shouldn’t be interfering and that I could always make him miserable IF he hurts her I realised he was probably just like a shadow at college.

Down the lane, when some person with the same questionable habit(who is hopefully as harmless and a little pathetic, if you may, like me) asks my juniors or seniors about me I don’t want them to rave about how ‘awesome’ I was(because let’s face it they won’t) but I don’t want them to not know me either. I read a really nice post recently that I can’t seem to find now since my net is having moodswings, stating that humans seem indecisive about many things. We don’t know if we want to stand out or to blend in by belonging somewhere? I am tired of literally, standing out in school. At 5’10 where the average height is 5’5 (boys and girls) standing out was inevitable. Leadership skills? I can’t even say no to a person without following it up “hahah, I’m just kidding ofcourse, I’ll do it” . I’ll probably be the squad leader who would approve Hitler’s decisions to carry out his version of ‘cleansing’ the human race inorder to avoid the discomfort at watching his sad expression if I were to deny his request.
It’s too late or early-now at 4 am, depending on how you look at it to ponder if I should try to stand out or blend in. So I’m just going to perfect this shadow of the dog that still looks like a deformed hand and do things that I usually do without worrying about whether it will impact the world or not. As long as I’m being myself and doing things that make me happy, I don’t think anything else matters. Although I must learn to reign in the “mother hen” tendencies to try to run a pathetic attempt of a background check on people and just learn to trust them to not hurt anyone I know and love. Or atleast trust my little ‘chicks’ to be able to fend for themselves. Hats off to parents everywhere. I don’t know how you don’t give in to that desire to lock your children in to keep them safe. One naive amazing friend and I want to keep her locked up high in a tower so that she doesn’t hurt herself. Awesome. It’s 4 am and I sound like a sexist creepy evil witch from a fairytale. It’s not going to end well for me if this continues, is it?