Being “that girl”

I know I usually write about light topics but this news has been bothering me so much that I feel like I’m failing as a human being if I keep silent.

Recently a story broke out about the brutal murder and gang rape of a 8 year old child in Jammu(Indian administered part).

I’m not going into the details of it, The media is having a field day describing her 4 days of torture and I don’t know enough words to express how I’m sure people with hearts and a bit of a soul must be feeling. That being said, in the wake of this terrible tragedy the reactions of unfortunately a lot of people are disturbing to say the least.

This tragedy has been somehow transformed to a religious issue because the monsters who did this to her and the child belong to different religions. So now those(not all but quite a lot) who worship the same god/or are born into the same religion as those of the monsters are…supporting them. That’s right. You read it right. Read it again.

My grandfather has always been a sexist person with a mindset that could easily get him executed by the mildest of people but somehow over the years I have adapted to his remarks and they don’t bother me as much. I’m bringing this up because the comments people – educated people, mind you born in this decade are making about this gruesome incident are chilling even to me – a person who has developed tolerance for all unprovoked sexist nonsense.

Rape isn’t a new thing unfortunately in India. And while remarks like “Well. She shouldn’t have worn that.” “She was asking for it” “Boys will be boys” have always floated around, This game’s completely shifted from victim shaming to protecting and supporting the accused.

I’m so angry at everything. In a country where the number 1 priority in most households is to mould the daughter into perfect wife material to a stranger by teaching her how to sit, how to talk, how to cook, how to not talk back to your brother because well..he has a penis so he’s probably smarter, You’d think they’d actually care about the women after all the efforts they put in from the time she’s born. All these may seem archaic but the distressing reality is that all these views and practises still exist.

I among many were lucky enough to be raised by broad minded parents with nosy relatives playing minimal role in my upbringing. But when I hear childhood stories of friends they sound nothing short of a horror movie.

When I scroll through some of the comments made under posts highlighting women, I feel like stuffing a little inflated balloon down my pants to feel safer. These “thoughtful” remarks are sometimes made by people I interact with on a daily basis. I usually shy away from being so vocal about our differences in opinion since I didn’t want to be “that girl”.

There are many versions of “that girl” ofcourse :

“That girl” who wears short clothes.
“That girl” who laughs too loud when boys are around.
“That girl” who will definitely get burned one day taking in the amount of time she spends with boys.
“That girl” who doesn’t realise what a privilege it is that she’s allowed to choose the field she wants to study in and still complains about patriarchy.
“That girl” who drinks.

But you know what, I think it’s about time we all be “that girl”. Feminazi, bitches or whatever labels you give us won’t change the fact that your opinion about victims is a huge mistake just like what your dad did by relying on the pull out method.

I’m done tiptoeing.  They tell us that if we are open and bold about drinking, wearing short clothes and having opinions we invite attention and that in turn will bring a whole lot of trouble. If a fully clothed child can go through this only to have her own people turn their back against her by protecting those who tortured her because of completely misplaced religious sentiments, I assume it’s safe to say that I’m ashamed of what we have become. You should be too.

I’m sorry India but you failed us women-no..not just women but all human beings.

It’s sad that cows are more protected(for religious purposes ofcourse) than women here. It’s sad that women need to be “protected” at all. Beef eaters are supposedly treated worse than rapists in some parts. I strongly believe that religion was meant to bring people together. It’s a personal choice. It shouldn’t make you do things that makes others question your entire race’s existence.

Atheist, agnostic, religious, man, woman, gender fluid, CHILD, baby, infant…whatever be the case, We are human beings first and foremost. It’s heart breaking and pitiful that people have forgotten that.

That’s all.

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It’s okay

I should be the last person on earth talking about body image and self-esteem. Several years back I wouldn’t cross the road until it was absolutely empty because I didn’t want the people in the car to “look” at me. YUP. So I’d just walk around in circles, confuse every good Samaritan who’d stop his/her vehicle permitting me to cross only to shake my head in this “Oh you silly Goose! I’m pretending to wait for an imaginary friend when secretly all I’m doing is waiting for the roads to be empty so that I can walk around and NO ONE CAN SEE ME. So go go. Just go ahead already.” Clearly I was naïve and it was an era before the Black mirror techno-paranoia.

I’m happy to say that just yesterday I took a tumble and managed to bang my knee on the pavement. Yes, I’m happy about it. Walk in my shoes and you’d know how slippery the pavement was but also that spending a good minute laughing and whining about the whole moment is actually something the old me should be extremely proud of. Some(like myself) might say I probably even deserve an award for that. Take the subtle hint. I’ll accept cash. Or card. Or anything really.

I couldn’t order at restaurants. I couldn’t do things that seemed so effortlessly easy to others. I was cloaked in insecurity. What if I made a fool of myself? What if they laugh? I’d keep the perfect change with me while waiting in the line because the prospect of searching for change while others waited behind me and probably judged me was unfathomable. I was so worried about what others felt. How others would interpret things that I don’t think I did anything for myself.

It didn’t help that I was/am a lanky 5’9 extremely skinny person to the point that it’s not desirable by anyone and you’d be hit with a maternal instinct to get some food in me if you saw me and I don’t remember a time when my face was absolutely clear. Oh. Also I had to wear glasses since I turned 4 years old and I always chose those big rainbow coloured ones. And my smile? No offense to the legend Heath but he needed to be mutilated to get that wide smile. Me? I don’t even have to try. Some days I feel like I can’t hear clearly when I smile because I’m sure my smile envelopes my little ears too along with my self-esteem. I’m not even going to talk about my breasts and butt. Since there isn’t any to talk about in the first place.

And I grew up with a sister who woke up model-perfect. Flawless skin. Round face, Beautiful smile. Just effortlessly pretty. I didn’t resent her though I just resented myself even more in the mirror because of that.

Then eventually I just stopped. I wish I had a deep meaningful experience that enlightened me. Or just sat under some magical tree which lifted the fog clouding my brain. But no. I think eventually little positive influences from my sister and so many friends helped. I realised wide as my smile may be I could make others smile and laugh. I was funny. I AM. OK? Just take my word for it. And the marks on my cheeks didn’t bother me much anymore in fact when someone asks me about them now I’m surprised for a moment because they have become invisible to my once critical eyes. I underwent a surgery for my eyes and no longer need glasses. I still fumble and search for them in the morning for around 10 minutes till I realise I don’t wear them anymore. Not to mention the amount of times I accidentally poke my eyes expecting a barrier and I’m 23 years old. Clearly the spectacles are the reason I havent managed to gorge out my eyes in my childhood.  Breasts still have the progress of Batman’s dialogue delivery but I have come to terms with them. Like they say in almost all the romcoms – “Sometimes somethings are worth waiting for”. Granted they probably were talking about the extremely attractive actor/actress but it’s relevant here too.

There are days of course when my hair won’t stay down or my smile seems weirder and I just want to scream and not go out at all but I think of the lanky shy kid who was once scared to cross the road and now is able to attract attention by roaring with laughter after falling hard on a flat surface and I think to myself – It’s okay. It might not be much but this lanky flat chested girl with a wide smile has come a long way and is here to stay. Not just stay but to make a lot of noise.

When was the last time you had to tell yourself “It’s okay”? I would love to hear your stories. 🙂

*JUMPS UP AND DOWN AND WAVES ENTHUSIASTICALLY*

My last post was on May 2016 and I ended it with a “P.S I am OFFICIALLY BACK AND I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE”

……………………………………………………………………….

So now that my old and new? readers have established that I’m an extremely reliable person, I shall move ahead.

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Probably what my old readers have to do to lower their standards to continue to endure me after the long break

 

I am so glad I still remember how to type and move the little weird stubborn white arrow that always points in the same direction but can be moved around as per as my will – What’s that? Oh Ok. Fine. It’s called the cursor? Geez. Things sure have changed since 2016.

I’m almost done with my medical school(the undergrad part anyways) and like every classy human being who is planning to dedicate his/her life for mankind, I plan to run around the street butt naked with my degree to ward off prospective grooms because that is the FIRST AND REALLY ONLY thing my relatives are really concerned about – Arranged marriage. And since nobody in my family understands why the thought of sharing a life let alone a bed with a complete stranger, whose only redeeming quality that my parents are concerned about is if his horoscope matches mine and if our stars will allow us to live happily ever after and “bless them” with little grand kids, is not very appealing to me, The butt naked sprint is the only mature thing left to do. This way I get to flaunt my success as well as make all the grooms squirm. So Wohooo. I’m sorry for forcing that image into your brain. Just concentrate on the piece of paper I’m waving about.

I haven’t written in a while. No inspiration, no mood until now which is also maybe because it’s my first real long vacation(ALMOST A MONTH. AN ENTIRE MONTH. No this isn’t sarcasm. I’m actually happy.) I’m just waiting for my results and then it’s a year-long of slave labor that they call internship over here.

The amount of I’s used in this post just proves I’m self obsessed as ever but at least it’s not a long post about the possibility of sweat glands being hyperactive on my cousin brother’s feet. Not a medical observation just an olfactory one.

So I hope this year so far has been going the exact way you envisioned it or if not I hope it is sprinkled with happy surprises. I,myself have had a fair share of wake up calls this year(and it’s just March!) and while I wasn’t so pleased to be jolted I am slowly learning to be grateful(I’m still annoyed about a few things. I’m 23 years old. What are you expecting? Maturity? Pfft.)

I’m learning to slowly let go of things that I had no rights to hold on to in the first place. Pointless grudges, Pointless people. A lesson I’m learning in excruciating slow pace might I add.

It’s a good thing that I have so much room – or in my family’s words SO SO SO SO SO MUCH ROOM for personal growth else I’d bored in life.

Now that the reintroduction is done and dusted, To shortly summarize –

  • I’m still a mess
  • I just threw in words like personal growth and lines about letting things go when in reality I still eat Nutella out of the jar on most days to feel better about myself.

AND I’m excited to be back and catch up on everything. SO YAAAY! Can’t wait to stalk wherever the little white arrow takes me.

ALSO WHY IS SPELL CHECK TELLING ME NUTELLA ISN’T A WORD? WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO? HOW LONG WAS I AWAY?

‘Stuffings’ aren’t always edible

I’m supposed to be packing. Predictably I’m lying amidst a heap of underwears and staring at the ceiling instead. I’m shifting hostels and only when you go through ALL your things you realise what a big fat mess your life is. I’m not kidding! This week it’s been “OMG I was looking for this top since last year” “Bus ticket..bus ticket..another bus ticket..honestly, what the hell..ooo some shiny gold paper..WILLY WONKA HERE I COME..ARGH another bus ticket” “I can’t send this away, I mean the holes in the dress adds to the class and elegance of the dress, oh..there’s a hole in the crotch area too..bah! Pure elegance.”

I cannot decide what to give away and what to keep which is why this process is taking too much of time for me. There’s this pen with a mermaid perching on top and it’s got those fluffy feather like things hanging from the top(I’m sure these type of pens/pencils have some fancy name, I’m lazy to google so you can just tell me in the comments) It doesn’t even work and somehow my brain convinced me that it has to be saved since it’s got memories. I don’t even know if it’s mine and I’m saving a bunch of things citing “memorable moments with it” as an excuse. *sighs* At times like this, I wonder why I even bothered leaving home. My mom is heartless while packing and just separates things with ease, me? How can I take that and send this away? Wont it feel bad? No Mythili, because INANIMATE OBJECTS DONT HAVE FEELINGS. I need to get that drilled into my brain.

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This is how my mom packs

I feel like this spoilt princess that’s been suddenly left in the jungle with a note “All the best..oh and by the way, I hope you have acquired the necessary skills without which you might starve and die – no biggie. Muah.” I have to do all the procedures to shift hostel on my own-which is not really a big deal for most people but for me it seems BIG(with the caps on and everything). I’m learning a little by little each day which is good enough. It feels so weird once everything I ever owned is put in suitcases, it’s like I never even lived here. Spent 3 years in this room and it doesn’t have any sign of me ever being here. Aside from the occasional stains here and there :$ I wish we could do the same to some people in our life we wish we never met. Even when they leave for good, our head holds way more stains as memories than needed. Especially if they aren’t worth it. However after a week of grueling packing, I’d take the painful memories than to begin the process of stuffing all the unwanted memories and thoughts in some virtual box and sending it far away.  STUFFING IS NOT EASY. Speaking of stuffing things which is packing for me, I better get a move on things otherwise I’ll end up going comando everyday in the new hostel if I leave all these lying around here.

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Aside from the nose and the masculinity..ok no just the nose alone, this is ME

I haven’t had the time to catch up on my reading :/ so I’m still clueless about what each of you are upto and it’s annoying.

Rambling on…

It’s been a while is probably an understatement! I have a lot of excuses – exams,stress, lalalall..the truth is a bit of these excuses and a simple fact that I just didn’t feel like there was anything to write about. That’s that! Having said that, i am GLAD I’m here now! I have missed each and every one of you, ok ALMOST everyone(to the new followers – well..I would have missed you too if you had followed me a little bit earlier but better late than never.)

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I have been dying to say this! I AM OFFICIALLY AN AUNT!! Now to be honest, I’m not very fond of kids-they observe your every move and then bring it up at the most inappropriate moment. It’s a good thing that the said skill is usually possessed by kids who are too young to make money out of it in the form of blackmails. There’s a saying in Malayalam(my mother tongue) that for every mother crow her baby is the fairest of the lot, but in case I’m pretty sure my niece is the most gorgeous thing- I say thing, because no human/animal is capable of being so adorable and innocent- in the world! No offense to the rest of you, second best is still good. She’s too good for us which is why we are all secretly doubting if there was a mix-up at the hospital because there’s no way such a tiny adorable little thing could be related to our loud crude family. I guess we just have to wait for a couple of years to be sure.

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This kid bears more resemblance to the family

Speaking of babies there’s a trend usually seen in government hospitals during labour. I’m not sure if it’s exclusive only to India or it’s seen elsewhere too. During labour when the woman yells in pain, the nurses and doctors instead of soothing and encouraging her yells back at her. And it’s frequently along these lines “What? Enjoyed so much during sex right, so suffer now!” “You didn’t have any trouble spreading your legs then, why are you creating a fuss now?” and so on.. infact they even give little smacks to them when they scream out in pain. My sister gave birth in a private hospital so she didn’t have to face this ordeal. It’s ironic that sex is mentioned as something vulgar by gynecologists and midwives themselves . I mean if it weren’t for sex, they wouldn’t even have jobs. I’ll never understand. Then there’s this obsession with the male child. For crying out loud, it’s the 21st century! Sex determination is banned in India because of this very obsession. My grandmother’s sister used to say “girls are like precious leaves and boys like thorns, in the end of the day it’s the leaves that have to shield themselves”. She apparently forgot she too has a vagina although with her sexist views I doubt there’s a thorn in the world that wants to poke her.

ANYWAYS, I have rambled on and lost the plot like always! The baby’s awake, so I’m off now! Until next time :D, which will be very, very soon.

P.S I am OFFICIALLY back and I’m not going anywhere!

Hope

My head hurts..I have been crying too much. With my forehead pressed against the cool glass door of the balcony, I even contemplated how easy things would be if I literally just took the extra step..off the balcony towards the other side. Thankfully, the sound of my bones shattering and the possibility of me feeling every ounce of physical pain that I thought would clear the mental anguish while my family and friends stare horrified and shocked quickly made that fantasy lose it’s appeal. I’m being majorly silly. I don’t even have any problems.

My city has flooded due to excessive unprecedented rains this month and there was no way to contact anyone since the networks were down also food was scarce since people were stocking up due to panic and banks/atms were closed. No power anywhere too. Thousands lost their homes. Hundreds, their life. My area wasn’t affected much, no electricity and network but I had food and drinking water which was a luxury then. Unfortunately many weren’t that lucky. Chennai is slowing making it’s way back with each passing day. I left the city to stay with my sister and mom when the roads were declared safe enough to travel.

You see what I mean by saying I don’t even have real problems comparatively? Yet watching the news daily seeing places that I used to frequently visit completely submerged, misunderstandings with mom and exam stress has started taking it’s toll on me. I haven’t even been reading anything or writing (as some of you can see…or can’t..ah!) for almost a month. I’m a person that experiences major highs and lows. Since I realise it, it helps. I’m thankfully surrounded by great friends and a dad who doesn’t quite understand what’s happening, but tries to help. Things aren’t really going great with mom as of now. Hopefully a little sarcasm and some efficient planning would get me on my feet which is why, I decided, why not end this long pause from wordpress? I mean, it’s not fair that I’m the only one experiencing this! Might as well give you bunch a headache once in a while, which I fully intend to do with my posts!
I’m not going to be very regular till February, since I have my exams then. But after that, I’m going to catch up on ALL your posts and leave you fumbling about for the block option(is there a option like that?) for some peace of mind.
The world seems to be going a little crazy at the moment, with the attacks in Paris, STILL unresolved issues in Syria, easy access to guns and their consequences in USA, floods in Chennai and unfortunately many many more. All of you stay safe and more importantly stay strong. Look out for one another. That’s all we can do. And that’s more than enough. 🙂

Hello? It’s me.

Please don’t ask, Eh? Who? since it’s a been a while! Off topic, isn’t that song by Adele just simply beautiful? She is making me feel guilty about losing touch with people in my life that don’t even exist.

Firstly, HAPPY DIWALI 😀 It’s a festival of lights, celebrated by bursting crackers and all that! I celebrated diwali at home this year and since we have pets, we didn’t entertain bursting crackers yet it was the brightest diwali for me since we were all home!

We are all name-hunting right now for my niece/nephew and it’s causing quite a ruckus. We probably have to name the kid “IT” to maintain some peace in the family. Naturally, nobody was amused at my suggestion. Honestly, I don’t get the big deal out of names. By the time the kid grows up, the name won’t be “cool” anymore and he/she is going to hate it. Apparently in the 90’s Mythili seemed like a great idea to name a child, now personally I think it sounds like a fungus named after those weird scientists that dedicated their entire lives to find the reason for that itch in the groin area.

This is the second time the phone has slipped out of my fingers and plonked down on my chest. I better stop since I’m extremely sleepy and also if my phone keeps falling, my girls will never ever come ‘out’. At 21 years of age, I still have faith that they are probably just shy and need a little more time. So ssh. I have to stop typing for the greater good.

Immaturity

Monday in keeping with the tradition of crushing happiness everywhere whenever it comes, marks the end of my blissful 5 day mini-vacation. We had a little break since last week was an auspicious period for both Hindus and Muslims. The great part about living in a secular country is you get holidays for EVERY AUSPICIOUS FUNCTION!

I spent my 5 days with my mom who is undergoing ayurvedic treatment to manage her arthritic pain. The hospital is like a mini resort and I have been a guest yearly for about 10 years now. I usually stay for a fortnight or month in my younger days.So the nurses, doctors,waiters, everyone has seen me through all the awkward stages-when my front teeth was constantly aroused by remaining ‘upright’, when the strands of my hair resembled that of the elephant’s tail, when I would pee standing up because “it’s not fair, he’s doing it why can’t I?”…anyways. They all KNOW me very well. I love the hospital since it’s got a great ambience, plus there’s Wi-Fi, Ac, always great company. People usually come for massages to relax and get away from everything. My mom forced me to get  massaged as well for 5 days. I’m usually reluctant to strip in front of a woman who has seen me since I was a child. I mean what if she says “Ah! Nothing’s really changed since the first time you came here, right?” after looking at me. *shudders*

As for great company, this time I met a guy around my age who is my exact OPPOSITE. There wasn’t a single thing we agreed upon. Likes, dislikes, every little thing. He hates Iron Man and nutella! o.o It was fun though, constantly bickering with each other! He found the fact that I usually get bro-zoned extremely hilarious so he calls me ‘bro’. He’s apparently the guy the girls run to for every little problem so I call him the virgin-ator:The man that protects women’s modesty all around the world since he has no sex drive.(Strictly my theory) It was nice to behave like a bunch of 3 year olds and just bicker! Just what I needed since I was whining about turning old this whole month. He’s also very good with kids and I’m well..awkward around them for the most part. So we played snakes and ladders with a bunch of kids there a couple of times. The kids started liking me when I told them that V-ator was totally cheating since he kept winning. It was a lie, but somehow they started liking me way more than him! So YAY! It’s a good sign. I’m going to be an aunty in a couple of months and I learnt that all you need to do to earn love from a kid is by claiming someone else is trying to cheat them at a game and instead help them win a couple of times(by cheating ofcourse).😝

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My mom’s doing great too! All in all everything was perfect! But obviously Monday being Monday just has to destroy everything so now I’m in a bus back to the city where I’m studying. A journey of 8-ish hours is ahead of me and the guy next to me is hogging up the armrest as usual. Hah! Take all the armrest space you want. In about 7 hours, you’ll have a huge patch of drool all over your shirt thanks to yours truly so we’ll see who has the last laugh!😌😌😌😌

Eternity without any fancy potions or spells

I have been casually dropping references to the upcoming event that I’m not particularly looking forward to, not because I know I can’t expect my blogger buddies to get me Robert Downey Jr gift wrapped and delivered at my doorstep..*address will be provided if requested* but because I’m being so cliché and there’s this underlying panic at turning 21.

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And you want to celebrate this? Shame on you!

21, 21,21 Yup. No matter how many times I say/type it, it doesn’t get less terrifying. Now why should one be afraid of turning ** years old, which sounds like a very pretty number too. I have a list. Yup, A LIST.

1. EVERY WOMAN in my family(mom’s and dad’s side) are either married or in a happy relationship by the time they are 21.
Me? Unless you count drooling(not over the other person’s appeal but by falling asleep) over a pizza while your over enthusiastic crush explained the glory of an overhead kick as a date, I haven’t been in ANY.
P.S. There was a brief post where I daringly mentioned I was entering into a fling..*coughs* Let’s just say the nun in me and the d*** on him had very different plans. Waiting for substance, always prevails in the end.

2. I don’t know how to cartwheel. Is it how to do a cartwheel? Or how to cartwheel? Ugh! I DONT KNOW ANYTHING.

3. I’m still very much under daddy’s pay roll. And will be so for a long, long time. The joys of enrolling in a course that lasts 5 and a half years are never ending.

4. I can’t ride a scooter. I’m terrified of riding anything with my entire body out in the open as easy bait. Except cycles. The cute horns alleviate whatever terror I have.

5. I don’t want to be the “bigger” person and give things up. Now it will be “Mythili, come on you are 21 YEARS OLD. Just give that mini Iron Man suit to him for God’s sake! He’s just 4.”

6. Now that I’m officially “legal”, I have to explain it to people that I prefer drinking coke to alcohol. My inner swag will be revealed to all as non-existent. *sighs*

7. I won’t be able to throw smug smiles at the back of the security’s head when he passes me and asks others for their ID while watching some good old fashioned gambling. Since I’m legally ALLOWED to be there. Not that I know any gambling spots here or anything…but that’s not the point.

8. If I get older, then my mom gets older too. That sucks. The only silver lining is, so does my grandad. But people like him will survive the apocalypse.

9. In another year, I’ll feel lame shopping at forever 21.

10. I haven’t even started playing candy crush – which is our generation’s legacy. And you thought I didn’t have any real goals!

See? Perfectly justified reasons. I have decided to be mature and deal with the situation head-on. We will all be jumping from Nov 1 to Nov 3 with no pause in between. No one will ever know. Thank you for your co-operation. I’m going to stay 20 for a long long time.

Good? Bad? UNCLEEEE!

I remember when I was little, my mom advising me to be a good girl so that I don’t get dragged away by the mean looking relative with the thick moustache(not to be sold away as a sex slave or anything, just probably to a land where there’s no nutella or something equally terrifying). Now with a few more days left to being 21 years old, I’m still not sure what she meant. I mean, I NOW know that the uncle is the sweetest kindest thing that couldn’t hurt a fly but was targeted because of his mean looking moustache. That’s not what confuses me. What does being a “good girl” or a good person in general mean?
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I have long realised that being good is very subjective. While a child looks on at someone being bullied and manages to stay out of trouble is perceived as ‘good’ by some..what about the child that gets involved but gets into trouble with the authorities for using force? Is that good or bad behaviour? 

What is right? What isn’t? Who are we to judge, to be honest. My mom was raised to believe that it was wrong to question the males of the family since they are always right. My dad was raised to believe that housework must be split between the women and men and groaning about doing a ‘woman’s chore’ was wrong. Granted the women from my mom’s side of the family are scatterbrained and are only equipped with the talent of gossiping, so maybe the men took charge of making the decisions to keep the family afloat. Or maybe it’s because the women weren’t allowed in any of the decision making, they strutted off to keep themselves entertained with who’s sleeping with whom and the who hates whom’s? Aand as always I have strayed away from topic. This tends to happen when I mention my maternal branches of the family tree. You cannot just grant them a few words and move on if you have even the littlest of hopes to justify their actions. You can’t,anyways.

Returning to black and white. There are laws for the hard stuff. You can’t rape a woman and claim it was satisfying for her, so it was basically done in good intention. Thankfully, the law doesn’t entertain shades of grey based on irrational perspectives. What about the easy stuff? Is it good to convey information to a really good friend that came into your grasp by eavesdropping? Despite it proving to be a great help for your friend? Can you try to explain it to your dad who has to drive 200 kms in the dead of the night to collect you since you got into trouble while trying to help out a couple that was being treated unfairly at the hands of some villagers whose homes they accidentally crashed into that,what you did was good despite him have to leave behind your very sick mother alone? Is being good turning your head the other way if that means you get to stay out of trouble? Or jumping right into the matters you feel are unjust?
Do you tell a friend that her boyfriend, who is also your friend is seeing another girl behind her back because he likes both of them? Or do you listen to his frustration at facing confrontation? Or do you stay out of it all and risk getting the “HOW COULD YOU?” from one of them? Gah! Decisions, decisions.

I’m going back into my cave where I’m 6 years old and on top of a tree defiantly staring into my mother’s frustrated face while she gestures about how bad I have been since I ruined the new dress and how if I continue to be bad, my big scary uncle will drag me away to a nutella-less land which is where bad children that don’t listen to their mommies all go. So much more simpler.