I remember when I was little, my mom advising me to be a good girl so that I don’t get dragged away by the mean looking relative with the thick moustache(not to be sold away as a sex slave or anything, just probably to a land where there’s no nutella or something equally terrifying). Now with a few more days left to being 21 years old, I’m still not sure what she meant. I mean, I NOW know that the uncle is the sweetest kindest thing that couldn’t hurt a fly but was targeted because of his mean looking moustache. That’s not what confuses me. What does being a “good girl” or a good person in general mean?
I have long realised that being good is very subjective. While a child looks on at someone being bullied and manages to stay out of trouble is perceived as ‘good’ by some..what about the child that gets involved but gets into trouble with the authorities for using force? Is that good or bad behaviour?
What is right? What isn’t? Who are we to judge, to be honest. My mom was raised to believe that it was wrong to question the males of the family since they are always right. My dad was raised to believe that housework must be split between the women and men and groaning about doing a ‘woman’s chore’ was wrong. Granted the women from my mom’s side of the family are scatterbrained and are only equipped with the talent of gossiping, so maybe the men took charge of making the decisions to keep the family afloat. Or maybe it’s because the women weren’t allowed in any of the decision making, they strutted off to keep themselves entertained with who’s sleeping with whom and the who hates whom’s? Aand as always I have strayed away from topic. This tends to happen when I mention my maternal branches of the family tree. You cannot just grant them a few words and move on if you have even the littlest of hopes to justify their actions. You can’t,anyways.
Returning to black and white. There are laws for the hard stuff. You can’t rape a woman and claim it was satisfying for her, so it was basically done in good intention. Thankfully, the law doesn’t entertain shades of grey based on irrational perspectives. What about the easy stuff? Is it good to convey information to a really good friend that came into your grasp by eavesdropping? Despite it proving to be a great help for your friend? Can you try to explain it to your dad who has to drive 200 kms in the dead of the night to collect you since you got into trouble while trying to help out a couple that was being treated unfairly at the hands of some villagers whose homes they accidentally crashed into that,what you did was good despite him have to leave behind your very sick mother alone? Is being good turning your head the other way if that means you get to stay out of trouble? Or jumping right into the matters you feel are unjust?
Do you tell a friend that her boyfriend, who is also your friend is seeing another girl behind her back because he likes both of them? Or do you listen to his frustration at facing confrontation? Or do you stay out of it all and risk getting the “HOW COULD YOU?” from one of them? Gah! Decisions, decisions.
I’m going back into my cave where I’m 6 years old and on top of a tree defiantly staring into my mother’s frustrated face while she gestures about how bad I have been since I ruined the new dress and how if I continue to be bad, my big scary uncle will drag me away to a nutella-less land which is where bad children that don’t listen to their mommies all go. So much more simpler.
You managed to convey aome serious issues in our society with humor. Loved the read. I’ll say go with what your gut feeling of what is right or wrong. After all where’s the fun in being the good girlโบ
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Hahah, that’s true! ๐
Thank you so much for dropping by! ๐
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You are on the right path. Once you realize that there is no absolute good or bad in the world is when you become wiser. You can be good for all the wrong reasons. Or you can be bad for all the right reasons. The choice is up to you and no one gets to judge you. That’s how I live by.
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That’s a great concept. ๐ I, too don’t believe we can judge one another other than ourselves. As long as I truly believe in my actions, I don’t think I need to worry a lot about it may be perceived by the others.
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Moustache surely is a false call. People with moustache love god gifted bushy masculinity and this doesn’t indicate denigrating beast ๐ serious thoughts well written.
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Hahah! Thank you! The 5 year old me didn’t seem to think so. :p The 20 year old me has a soft corner for people with moustaches though! ๐
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It is a confusing world and I definitely can see why you would yearn for a simpler time. I try to stay out of other people’s business as much as possible..but then again, I don’t have many friends.
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The number of friends you have is r really an overrated concept. I prefer having just a single trustworthy friend to a gazillion ones that aren’t genuine. ๐
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Tell me about it!
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First of all, woman, why are you freaking about turning 21? ๐ (It seems centuries ago to me! :P) Second of all, speaking of “shades of grey”, are you giving up on Downey and shifting slowly towards E.L.James? ๐ ( I know this line is gonna fire you up :D, but anyways :P) Thirdly, on a serious note; I don’t think its all black and white! There’s a third color called “accepting things you don’t understand” (so, okay that’s not a color!)
I think there’s no good and bad, coz sometimes its evil and a lesser evil! That’s all ๐ Thoughtful write up though ๐
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WHAT? NO NO! DOWNEY FOR LIFE! I like your colour ๐ It’s waaay better than black and white.
P.S. HOW did you figure out the freaking out part? I thought I was being subtle about it! Why am I freaking out? The reply to that could be my next blog post..wait..it actually could ๐ Thanks for the idea! :*
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Honey… you have subtely freaked out about the “growing old” part in other posts (which I haven’t stalked!! ๐ :P) I wanna see how much you freak out when you turn 30, 31…….40….1000 ๐ ๐ if I ever turn out to be a producer, I’ll make a movie on you- every year ๐
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30?…wait 40? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? I have decided to stick to 20, I don’t care if we are all ‘supposed’ to grow older as years pass, I HAVE DECIDED TO NOT LET THAT RULE APPLY TO ME. You can join me! Eternity is bound to get lonely. ๐
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Haha… you missed 1000! ๐ yeah sure… there will be a time in the future when we’ll all be using walking sticks and flying wheelchairs… claiming to be sweet twenties ๐ eternity looks colorful ๐
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The world is confusing, what is right to one person is wrong for another person unless you are talking about which side the sun had risen today. If you feel walking away silently is being good, then it is good. On the other hand, if you feel that you have to step in and help sort out the issue, that is another way of being good too. There are positives in both, it’s how we choose to see it. ๐
Rest now. Don’t stress too much over this. ๐
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So basically I’m the only one who is allowed to judge my own actions. ๐ And stressing about these little things takes my mind away from the impeding doom that’s going to enable my family to create an account in a matrimony site, downplaying all my faults while bragging all my achievements. I don’t want to turn 21.
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It’s a fortnight away. ๐ But before that you have a week of you know what to survive. ๐ The Universe is preparing you for the impeding doom. Brace yourself. The wind is strong, and the storm is developing, but be the toriis of Nagasaki which withstood the a Nuke bomb. ๐
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I’m just going to sleep the whole day and pretend like it never happened. There! That’s my plan!
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I cannot imagine what it would be like to think that only men are right. However, I cannot imagine what it would be like growing up thinking differently than everyone else. Oh but wait! I CAN. you my dear can think anything you want. You can disagree with anyone you want… Even a MAN. God speaks to our souls individually and you follow your heart.
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Thank you so much! :* There’s no point in trying to please everyone, it’s impossible. So the safest thing to do is make sure you are convinced of your actions, I suppose. ๐
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I feel you. There’s a lot of sticky, gray, messy crap out there. It makes me want to hide sometimes too. But, we have to find a place to stand, we have to draw our line in the sand somewhere.
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A line is right. A THICK FAT line so that it’s still visible under all the blurry gray haze. ๐ Thank you for commenting!
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As long as you think of yourself as a good girl it’s all good… That’s my point of view.
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One’s own opinion above everyone else’s! In matters concerning yourself, that is! ๐
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Part of me wants leave behind an insightful comment, but gauging the depth of the topics you’ve touched, the other part of me says to let it be. It’s so much more simpler. ๐
Assuming you’ve already turned 21 by now – Happy Birthday… or Happy Belated Birthday! โค
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Hahah! NO NO I haven’t turned 21 yet, my birthday falls on Nov 2nd. I’m not going to turn either, I have decided NOT to. ๐
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See? If we all work together, we could pull this off! ๐ช๐ช
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Like literally! ! I guess we are all bounded by regard. .. and these elders make everything soo freaking complicated and I hate them all to core for being so suicidal for every stare,every verbal jab and even every good intention ๐
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That’s so true! I find it amusing that the people who judge me the most are usually the ones that don’t know me at ALL. -.-
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Yes screw them all and make Nutella drumsticks ๐
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Happy 22nd in a few days ๐๐
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WHAT? NO NO
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How about forever sweet sixteen ๐ Let’s immortalise an age ๐
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No,no! I was all braces and nerdy and a little pathetic at 16. Now I”m just pathetic and nerdy.
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๐
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Sorry my fingers pushed send too quickly
Be happy knowing who you are is good enough. Good or bad is a matter of opinion and please self is more important than what others expect one to be ๐
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I meant happy 21st birthday๐๐ sorry for the typo
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Don’t scare me like that! I was just thinking of how I’ll probably hit menopause before graduating(med school- 5 and half LONG years)..:$
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Lol!! You will graduate and be a good doctor. It will fly by quickly!! ๐
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